Enemy Within

2010-05-02T21:48:00.001+08:00

Same old question.

Where are you?

Security

2010-05-02T21:41:00.004+08:00

Felt that I wasted the entire day.

Don't think anything that I read actually went in.

They were just words, made no sense to me despite reading the same thing over and over again.

Wrong decision to stay at home?

Maybe.

I felt frustrated.

So empty.

So hot.

So negative.

Just a call would have made all the difference to my entire afternoon.

Just like now.

Waiting waiting and waiting.

2009-07-20T23:42:00.001+08:00

Where are you?

How not to?

2009-07-17T00:08:00.002+08:00

You tell me how not to be worried when it's a matter of life and death?

Yes, it's not as worrying now.
But how can I not be worried?

Why can't I just accept the fact that attending English classes will not be a bad thing after all?
Because somewhere else doesn't require that.
That somewhere else had given more tempting offer.

But a choice made is a choice made.
So what if there are regrets now?
Isn't it all too late?

2009-04-19T23:33:00.002+08:00

What's the problem with me?

ARGH!

...

2009-02-10T17:48:00.002+08:00

Sucky Chinese BDay.

Internal was alright.
But how do we tell her that we want to put a STOP to everything?
If you can guarantee me a GPA of more than 3.9 for m upcoming exam, I'll do anything that you ask.

Reminded of the sucky part of our past.

Bad news about a junior, I wish that everything will be alright...

If everything is sucky, I wish that at least this part can turn out alright.

CNY 2009

2009-01-25T11:49:00.003+08:00

Things are so much different this year....

4 days...

Going home this time round will be different.
I've got news for my mum.
Wonder how she will take it.

I've got something to occupy my mind.

Please take good care.
Please rest well.
Please have fun.

It won't pass easily... =(
But it will....
Wait for my return.

Rest thoroughly... enjoy to the max.

Tough ride ahead.
We'll get through it.

My Net Friends

2009-01-16T22:18:00.002+08:00

I can't remember who my first net friend is.
I can't remember when I made my first net friend.

I have numerous net friends... many don't last.
But I had been lucky to make a few that last.
Not much contact now, or even lost contact.

One of the most significant one is a Singaporean who has gone to London to study.
OG. He calls himself the Opera Ghost.
He made me like broadway shows even more...
Made me feel like I have an older brother.
Haven't heard from him for the 2nd or 3rd year as of last Christmas (2008).
Quite sad.
It's not the Christmas gifts that he will send, but the friendship.
I doubt I'll have the chance to get him something in return when I start to work.

The 2nd being someone who had helped me quite a lot throughout my growing up years.
S. Ng.
Helped me become a happier person. To express the real me.
Given lots of encouragements, was my venting outlet.
Things just turned sour.
Might as well end it that way, I was just too disappointed.
It's good to keep a distance between us now.

3rd one is someone who was interested in me.
E. Oh
Nice person.
Keeping in touch occassionally.
But nothing much to talk about... we just don't share the same map of the world.

4th. Yan.
One of the reason why I am writting all these.
I can't remember how long I've known him... but surely before I left Ireland.
Made me discover my liking for photography, made me have confidence in my work.
Someone whom I can vent out to... given and offered lots of help.
Very glad that he is still willing to offer help after all these while...

I must say I have been lucky.

Sibling(s)

2009-01-07T23:46:00.002+08:00

At the moment while I was waiting for the blogger site to load,
my mind went through what I want to write about...

I want to have a sibling.

Yes, for that moment,
I forgot that I actually have a younger brother.

I am envious of my friends who have siblings,
siblings who are on good terms with them.

They can have their siblings to play with them, board games, card games, computer games, or playful fights...
Or someone to share a good laugh with, over silly things, or tv shows, or the silly things one can do together with one's siblings.

I can hardly remember the last time I actually played with my brother, or have a good talk with him.
We used to fight when we were younger, or rather very young.
Now I wish we can have those days...

Education

2009-01-05T00:00:00.002+08:00

What is Education really all about?
What should Education be all about?

Right now, my mind is loaded with all the thoughts of how I am to go about finishing all the assignments and reports.
I can say for sure that right now, 12mn, there are still numerous number of people whom I know working on their report that is due today.

A total different kind of demand from Primary and Secondary School days.
Those days require you to mug... all you have to do is to do your TYS and memorise equations and facts.
But we were relatively happy.
I think I was happy.
I can still have true laughters with my friends.

At least we were not loaded with pile of assignments and reports to complete during festive seasons.
We were given our due holidays, to recharge.

I don't understand why schooling has seem to become such a chore for me.
I used to enjoy schooling.
I managed my school work well.
I had fun with my friends.

But right now, I have no life at all.
I don't see why a module that doesn't hold much credit give us assignments that take up so much effort and time.
Never mind if we can understand what we are suppose to do after spending all the time and effort.
But that's not the case.
All these unnecessary assignments that I personally feel doesn't value add much but cause all the undue stress should be reviewed.
Surely there are other ways to impart the same values without having us to go through all those tedious, unfruitful, uncertain processes.

It's good to engage students in a somewhat major project.
To allow us to take charge.
But why is it that the school will overlook the time factor?

Yes, we should be aware of it, but we're still kids after all... we need time to play.
Yes, we are young, we can take it physically and probably, mentally. But we are still humans.'

You didn't help, but made matters worse by cutting short the time we have to produce the work you expected.
It's not fair at all. Though you may say the world is never fair.
But what about the students from the other sem?
They have an entire sem to work on their report! AN ENTIRE SEM!

The thought of it just get me fuming mad.

What is these all about?
Making students so sick and tired of studying.

So what if I am a third year student?
I don't deserve some good rest?
I don't deserve to celebrate Christmas and New Year properly?
I don't deserve to start the year feeling all positive and fully re-charged to face the challenges the new year is going to bring?

Do I not deserve to enjoy schooling?

WHAT THE H*LL!

I just feel like skipping school the entire week just to rest, to have fun, although school is just starting tomorrow... in fact today.

I doubt this coming CNY will be good.
But heck, I'm going to skip school and have a good time.

Feeling so p*ssed.

2008-2009

2009-01-01T00:17:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year.

Year 2008, at the age of 20.

One of the most happening year of my life.
Spent 4 months in foreign land, with a friend.

Learnt to be independent, to be tolerant towards others, learnt to accept others for who they are.

Ireland days seem like a dream.
Rome days were romantic, too romantic to be true.
London days were quite an eye-opener for infrastructures.

I have forgotten how it feels like to live in a place filled with people with golden hair and coloured eyes.

Days back in S'pore - whirlpool.
Lots of sweetness accompanied with bitterness.
Finally get a taste of how falling in love with someone feels like.
I got the bad end of it though... when most people started off with the sweet end.

Things are good now.
I hope they will remain good or even get better.
I'm trying my best.
But I don't want to be greedy.
Just let things be good.
I'd be more than happy...

I just wish that we'd be happy...
Holding on to the future that we can have together.

So many things happen.
I 'lost' a very good friend to UCLA, but I also found a wonderful friend who has been there all along despite my absence for 4 months.

Dearest Valerie,
as you're not around this year, I've even stopped sending Christmas cards.
I have no one to call to grumble about everything or someone to talk about our good old Secondary school days.

Dearest Felicia,
thanks for always being around... I guess I don't have to say much. You know how important you are to me.

I ended my year 2008 by visiting a patient during the day,
feeling miserable and lonely with tears welling.
Went to Orchard HMV at 10pm to collect Lee Hom's CD.
Had Mac's Chocolate Mc Flurry.
Waited for quite sometime for the bus to get home.
Sat in front of my desktop as 2008 slip past allowing the entry of 2009, talking to Felicia.

Thank you for calling.
It's just a call, but it made me happy.

Eve Tan,
thanks for keeping your promise...

Can't really make any solid resolution for 2009.

Ending my Poly life soon, if everything goes well.
Still at a loss at where to head to after that apart from wanting to get into a Uni.

I just wish things will stay good for us.
That I'll always have my dear friends.

I want to be a happy person...
Have ended the year with too much tears already.
Please make me happy...

2009 won't be as eventful as 2008 I suppose...
I just hope it'll be a safe and relatively happy year for everyone.

How to last?

2008-12-28T20:26:00.002+08:00

Lots and lots of work piled up upon us.

Really feel mentally drained.

I really wish to take some time,
a few days to have some quality rest,
to have time to do things that I like.

Up-coming squad gathering.
Seems like I won't be able to attend the entire meet-up session.
Really need time.

Yes,
it'll be over soon.
By March 2009.

Not a very long time.

But the problem is: How to last till then??

Gosh,
Hang in there everyone...
We WILL MAKE IT!

I'm thankful that I've got you.
The important people of my life.

Felicia

2008-11-29T22:29:00.002+08:00

Dearest Felicia,

Thank you for your company today.

Time seem to pass by in a less torturing manner.

It was fun shopping!
Hope you had fun.
Despite the heavy bag. =p

Wee~
You're still the best!

Jia you k...
Need my company must always let me know.

The Point

2008-11-28T22:26:00.000+08:00

I see your point.

It's not that there's no point.

It's just that you didn't see my point.

Rot

2008-11-23T18:14:00.002+08:00

Back to the usual.

As long as I stay home for the weekend,
I simply use the hours to rot.

But it won't that bad if you have someone to talk to.
Thanks, Feli.
Anything also can call me...

Best if you have someone to spend those hours with.

Haiyo... it takes me so much effort to supress that urge to sms.

We all need our own personal space,
but I want my personal space to include you.

So into it.

2008-11-16T22:21:00.000+08:00

It's a horrible and terrible feeling.

Fallen too deep already.

Beer.

2008-11-02T00:56:00.002+08:00

Long missed Corona Extra.

I love Beer.

It makes you light headed.
Make you hard to think of what's troubling you.

It will probably make you sleep well for the night as well.

~~~~~~~

I am term skinny now.

All because I haven't been eating much.

I realized that too.

My jeans are lose.

But I feel that I don't look too bad this way after all.

As long as I don't look haggard.

Heal my heart.
Please heal it.

I wish...

2008-10-29T23:33:00.003+08:00

Walking down that stupid road home,
thinking over how to reply the messages,

I saw this Chinese National riding his bicycle against the direction of the road,
singing at the top of his voice.

How I wished I could sing like him.

He seem to be feeling super good about it.

If only I could.

Sucks to be me.

2008-10-27T17:22:00.002+08:00

I hate this feeling.

The feeling of looking forward to something,
especially to get out of the house,
and be crushed at the last minute.

It's stupid to get teary over such things.
That's why I suck.

You promised.
Please keep it.

nothing to do

2008-10-25T21:17:00.002+08:00

hate that stupid feeling.

feel like I am dying.

that my heart is going to stop anytime.

there seem to be tonnes of things to do.

yet I feel like there's nothing to do.

that love hate feeling.

2008-10-23T20:29:00.001+08:00

拥有了，就会害怕失去。

Moving on.

2008-10-12T23:33:00.003+08:00

Just slightly less than half a Haato waffle to last the entire day.
And about a cup of ice cream.

I got well.

Enough of the girly way of showing emotions.
It's been a long while since the last time those stupid fluid flowed like there's no end.

The camp was a good get away.
The waterfalls, the Mt. Panti.
The same campsite.
I still love it there.

Missed timing?
Oh wells, if that's what you say,
nothing I can do about it.
You can find timing again.

Back to school tomorrow.
Good luck.
My mind is rusty.

Thanks for the memories...

2008-10-09T23:25:00.002+08:00

Can't say that I didn't expect it.
I saw it coming one way or the other.

If only you didn't take things one step further.
Guess it would have been easier for you and for me.

I'm sorry if I was the one causing you all the pain.
I know the answer now.
My presence doesn't make you any happier.

At least you are not torn now.

I shouldn't have responded.
Shouldn't have.

Thanks for all the company you have given.
The smiles you brought onto my face.

Just as I was thinking this morning that your sugar coated words will one day cause me hell.
It came soon enough.

Never mind.
They were sweet there and then.

Hopefully we will still share laughters.
Can't lose you as a friend.

Dragging my heart with it...

2008-10-09T10:49:00.003+08:00

How come time seem to pass so slowly...

It seems to be dragging.

How can one make one's mind be preoccupied with thoughts that one desires?

Teach me if you know how.

It's boring to stay at home.

Or rather,

It's lonely to stay at home.

Where can I go?
Roam the streets?
and just come home to the bed when the day is over.

I say Hey! What's going on?

2008-09-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

It's nice to put a smile on somebody's face,
especially when that person is someone who matters to you.

It's been a long while since I've patronised B&J's at Cathay.
It has probably been almost a year.
I wracked somethere there this time.
Hush, keep it a secret for me please.
On the account that I am nice to you.
Anyway, I hope you have a good first impression of it's ice cream.
Or at least the place itself.

Do you chose who you show your true emotion to?
But what if the person whom you want your true emotion be made known to does not notice it?
I think it will hurt terribly then.

Dig them all out.

2008-09-22T17:43:00.003+08:00

I just feel like digging my heart out.
Dig all my internal organs out.

Something just seem to be stuck inside.
It's making me feel miserable.

Does history always has to repeat itself?
Or am I just cursed?

You think you are sensitive?
I think not.

Don't come poking into my life, gaining my trust and dependence and leave me to die with an empty hole.

Irritaing shit.
Filled with negative thoughts.
Why? Why must life be like that?
Can't it be straight forward?
Why can't we be frank?

How I wished I was knocked down by that car just now. =)

from my dear girl

2008-09-13T17:53:00.001+08:00

Valerie Zhang wrote at 12:48am
hey dear, thanks for talking to me ok! you must jiayou in school! must must! you are going to start school in a years time too! which is very fast! i will be back next yr to witness you going to school ok! (: (:

and i would like to say, thanks very very much for being my friend all these years. i really treasure the friendship we had all this while. thanks alot alot for being with me all this while, always being there listening to my rubbish nonsense.

and i must really thank god for putting you in my life, i really need you! (: takecare ok! I WILL BE BACK IN GOOD TIME. hopefully you can still recognise me! if you cant, i hope it will be because i am a few sizes smaller, not a because i'm a huge human. hahhaa.

i will miss you, actually i miss you already that my heart hurts so :( goodness!

see you tmr (: sleep well dear! loves loads!

Me?

2008-09-08T20:46:00.003+08:00

From Hong Wei's blog... feeling bored.. lazy to blog about my emotional state.
So, here's something for fun....

Pointers applicable are coded Orange.

I am 5'4" or shorter.
I think I'm ugly.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
I have a tattoo
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I've had braces.
I wear glasses sometimes.
I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my earsI have freckles

Family/Home life.

I've sworn at my parents.
I've been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I've lost a child.

Embarrassment.

I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I've snorted while laughing.
I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something.
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I've had my pants rip in public.

Health.

I was born with a disease/impairment.
I've had stitches.
I've broken a bone.
I've had my tonsils removed.
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I've had chicken pox.

Travelling.

I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
I've been on a plane.
I've been to Canada.
I've been to Niagara Falls.
I've been to Japan.
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I've been to Europe.
I've been to Africa.
I've been to France.

Experiences.

I've been lost in my city.
I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas. (when I was young)
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.
I've crashed a car
I've been skiing.
I've been in a play
I've met someone in person from the internet.
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a roof top at night.
I've played chicken.
I've played a prank on someone.
I've ridden in a taxi.
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten Sushi.
I've been snowboarding.

Relationships.

I'm single.
I'm in a relationship.
I'm available.
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I've been divorced.
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality.

I've had a crush on someone of the same gender.
I've kissed a member of the same gender.
I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
I've had sex with someone of the same gender.
I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.
I am a cuddler.
I've been kissed in the rain.
I've had sex outdoors.
I've hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime.

I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
I've run a red light.
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime.
I've been in a fist fight.
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol.

I've consumed alcohol.
I smoke cigarettes.
I smoke pot.
I regularly drink.
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
I've done hard drugs.
I've been addicted to an illegal substance.
I take cough meds when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.

Mental health.

I have been diagnosed with depression.
I shut others out when I'm depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I have an eating disorder.
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
I've hurt myself on purpose.
I'm addicted to self harm.
I've woken up crying.

Death.

I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I've seen someone dying.
I have attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.

Random.

I can sing well.
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others too easily.
I don't kill bugs.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I play with my hair.
I have/had "x"s in my screen name.
I love being neat. (for certain things)
I've copied more than 30 CDs in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I don't know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I'm good at remembering faces.
I'm good at remembering names.
I'm good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-18T15:15:00.001+08:00

DAMN LONELY!

Felicia Nah, you'd better be having a good time!

Though I'm not alone in the lab,
but I guess I'm feeling worse.

I feel like I am dying.

Make me SLEEP!!!

2008-08-14T03:33:00.003+08:00

It's the witching hour...
and I can't sleep.

Those snores makes it hard for me to shut the sounds...
That scratch from her toe nail makes me unable to forget about my physical presence.

Lala Land is so far away tonight/ today.
Panda eyes never desert though.

Great,
now the tap seems to be leaking.

No tv programme to watch,
no entertainment.

I look like crap
in the mirror.

GET ME BACK TO SLEEP!!!

It's the company that matter...

2008-08-13T23:38:00.006+08:00

Hougang Mall has never been more fun to walk around than today.

Cute toy shop, which has lots of amusing things.
Eg, the Growing Pets, which Feli's mum was once crazy over.
But I really think they get kind of ugly as they 'grow up'.

SaSa.
We were looking at these 2 particular nail colours, when an aunty decided to join us.
We did try them out... in discrete.
We moved on, and she continued her hunt.
Man, the way she hunt.
Sounded as if she was doing some serious cooking on the wok.
ZHA ZHa Zha...~
After we have made our purchases, that aunty was still searching.
As we were near the extrance/exit, she asked the sales lady if she could try them out because the colours will turn out differently from the way they look.
She had more than 6 bottles held in her hand....
'Cannot try, try already everyone will want to try and no one will want to buy', was the reply she had.
She looked at me, when dear Felicia hurried her way out of the shop by another way.
Classic.
Sorry, but Aunty, you're not a very wise shopper at your age...
Had a good laugh over this...

Popular fair at the atrium
Looking at this Hello Kitty notebook which has page indicator.
The wordings written on it was not very impressive, in other words, not very good english.
'C**** english' was what Feli said.
Why '* English? and not T***** english?'
But we came across this page which as a word that both of us don't know...
'Chim' was what I said.
She made fun of me.. saying I'm being mean to critise.
Who started it first, my dear girl?

But there was a good phrase on it:
No one can call back yesterday, yesterday will not be called back again.
Laughed really hard there cause she actually said:
cannot call yesterday, yesterday cannot be called when I asked her to help me remember.

Eating cold Otah on benches
'Otah drop on my bag, Wei San how, tomorrow my bag smell like Otah, I carry otah smell everywhere with me.'
Which was quite true... we kept smelling otah even when we were sniffing at perfumes...

~*~*~

Feli,

Thanks for the company today.
Thanks for waiting for me to finish up before heading out with me.
Thanks for all the smiles you brought onto my face.

You just don't know what plans I had if you were not going to keep me company.
I actually intend to go somewhere alone.
Sounds like a loser?
No choice.

Anyway, having a friend like you will never make me a loser!
Love lots~

Run alone.

2008-08-13T10:17:00.003+08:00

Good thing that the campus run made me so tired.
Had a good run in the sun.
Had a good nap in the clubhouse.

The night got cold...
Exceptions always happen,
don't they?

Probably exercise is good.
Makes you tired,
makes you stop thinking.

But it makes you look stupid running in the afternoon,
under the hot sun,
all alone.

Looks like a despaired person.
That's what someone told me.

I am finally settling down to read...

but I find my mind somewhere else
Cold Turkey.

LSCT Love U

2008-08-11T00:33:00.004+08:00

Personality Pattern

2008-08-09T23:30:00.003+08:00

This is what I got out of the test done on facebook.
Tell me if it's not true of me.

Give it a try if you have a facebook account or you may want to sign-up just to try it.
http://apps.facebook.com/personalitypatterns

Assertive
You behave in a confident and forceful manner, take charge of the situation, raise your hand in class, stand up for what you think is right, and lead others.
You are not interested in fading into the woodwork, leaving everything to fate, taking more time than necessary to accomplish a task, or avoiding confrontation.
Among those who have a high score on the "assertive" trait, many have jobs in which they are valued for their organizational skills as well as their talent for supervising others.

Warm
You have a genuine interest in other people. You're a natural host, and are always thinking about how you can increase the happiness of those around you. When friends have problems or are in trouble, you're usually the first person they turn to for aid and comfort.
You don't always say exactly what you're thinking; you don't like the idea of causing anyone pain because of your criticism.
Scoring high on the "warm" trait suggests that you are among those who enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.

Understanding
You are willing to take the time to find out what's going on with other people, especially if they're in distress. You're a good listener, you don't criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it's requested.
You don't feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.
With a high score on the "understanding" trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.

Emotional
You let it all hang out, and those around you always know what you're going through.
You are not isolated from your emotions; no one would call you "cold-blooded," or even "cool as a cucumber."

Aesthetic
You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it.
You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.
Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.

Competent
You strive to master everything you undertake. You tend to learn quickly and do not shy away from challenges.
You are not a "que sera sera" type of person, nor do you go easy on yourself when attempting to master a new skill or get a job done.

Sympathetic
You have a knack for knowing what's going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.
You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.

Giving
You enjoy helping others, lending a hand, providing emotional or material sustenance. You don't see taking care of others as an imposition but as a vital and important part of your life.
You're not the kind of person who runs out of patience for people in need, nor do you feel that treating people with kindness is bad because it insulates them from the harsh realities of life.

Private
You don't see the need to share what you're thinking and feeling with everyone in the world, and you tend to present yourself in a somewhat formal way in order to keep your inmost thoughts to yourself.
You do not consider yourself a "free spirit," whatever that may be, and you're not comfortable expressing yourself without a bit of self-censorship.
A high score on the "private" trait is a likely indicator that you are among those who can be happily occupied at home, away from the crowds, but, when the time comes, are equally enthusiastic about packing your bags and taking a trip.

Scrupulous
You are an honest, fair person. You don't lie or cheat to get ahead. You treat others with respect and hope for the same in return.
You do not feel that you are above the rules that everyone else follows; you are definitely not willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.

Long lost feelings...

2008-08-09T13:35:00.003+08:00

It was a good choice to attend the school's National Day Celebrations.

I don't deny that we were not very good audiences -
went in late,
not very high.

Were there for a reason anyway - to support LSCT.
Man, they rock!
Simple, entertaining skit.
Love it.

Even poly is still into the sing National Day Song thing.
But it was good...
Never had such feelings in years.
Miss those secondary days when we had sing-along sessions just to learn all the National Day Songs.
Having fun together, doing the Roar together.
All the laughters.
Now everyone is off to Universities already...

The day was good... happy in general.

The rotten part was waiting for the SBS bus for more than 30min and still didn't turn up.
Had to take another way home instead.
Imagine you're someone using adult fare, changing bus 3 times when you can get a direct bus.
So it's Time VS Money, right?

It was true that I didn't want to get home early.
That's why I ended spending an hour in PF's house.
But I did want to get home by 8pm to watch the Olympics opening ceremony.
All thanks to the bus that never turned up,
I got home late, had to walk at super speed home as well.
Argh!

Oh wells... got over it after all...
It's not worth getting so fuming mad, why be?
When we can always have a choice to make our days better.

what do you do?

2008-07-27T22:31:00.004+08:00

What do you do when you're bored?
Especially when you have no company,
no one to talk to,
nothing in particular (meaningful things) to do?

Do you call someone up?
Do you look for something to do?
Do you go out alone?
Do you slip into a coma (sleep)?
Do you surf the web aimlessly?
Do you look at friends' profiles on friendster or facebook?
Do you look at strangers' profiles?
Do you go into mIRC looking for instant person to talk to?
Do you watch anything that interest you slightly on the tv?
Do you go to sites hosting videos?
Do you stay online hoping someone will initiate a conversation with you on msn?
Do you hope that someone will sms you?
Do you wish that someone will call you up to chat?
Do you read anything you can on the Newspaper?
Do you try to engage in a book that doesn't interest you very much?

It's all in the mind...

2008-07-24T23:40:00.002+08:00

My day started out ruined by her.
That person who demands things to be done,
thinks that you owe the entire world to her,
makes a big hoohaa if you refuse or takes a long time to do what she asked for.

I cursed.
Without her knowing.
It's rude.
I know that.
Sorry.

But I put those behind, happy thoughts of going out filled my mind.
Went out happy.
Came home happy.
It's always happy to be out with Feli.
I mean it.

Had my long wanted 3rd ear hole.
A pair of studs.
2 cheap t-shirts for casual school wear.
1 fox shirt on 50% which I intend to keep for CNY.

Po luo bun. Chicken wing.
Chicken rice lunch which we didn't have much impression on apart from the fact that it is not worth the money.

There's so many reasons to be happy each day.

Hell boi~

2008-07-21T21:09:00.003+08:00

Rainy day.

Got to biopolis anyway. =)
Chicken wing, fishball noodles, grass jelly drink.
Yummy... lasted me till 6pm.

Biopolis is a nice place...
No doubt a hub.

Meeting with Andy.
Sat with his classmates...
His class is really small... around 6 guys.

Good thing that we had things to talk about...
We're all grown up now.
Talks are all about future etc.

Movie - Hellboy.
Suppose to be Dark Knight, but sitting not good, only 1st row.
But it is really good.
Except that the volume was too loud.
Kinda cold too...
Nice show.. good that I didn't miss it.

Wee~
Yet another lovely day!

Bad note: only a bowl of soup for dinner

Scholar's choice seminar

2008-07-21T00:23:00.005+08:00

It was a relatively good day...
The event did draw a large crowd...
Not as what I was expecting though...

Really beginning to feel that I expect too much...

Anyway, the scholarship boards available are not really appealing me..
Because the job scope is not what I want.
Joining the Army will be fun.. Police also not bad.
But, then learning Life Science will be a waste of my time.
Really wish to do something closely related to what I will pursue in Uni.

It was a good day.
Learnt to be late, because I know CPF will be late.
Sorry Feli. Should have warned you..

Attended the event...

Did some shopping! =)
But my wallet was empty..
Good thing I have my weekly allowance.
Time to save up.

A pair of slippers - white as main shade.
Nice, soft and comfy.
A white t-shirt with my boyfriend as the design.
Love it... he looks damn handsome... wearing a hat.
A pouch of some sort, white in colour with fish prints. Love it!!

I think this shirt is one of the most expensive t that I have ever bought... apart from a black Animal top which is much more than a t-shirt.
Anyhow, happy can already!
It is relatively cheap for a designer shirt anyway.

Meeting xiao di for lunch tomorrow... Wee~
Hope it won't be awkward.
Going to biopolis with Feli.
Finally setting foot in there... at least I have been...
Else it's such a shame for a Life Sci student to not have been there.

what a feeling...

2008-07-19T23:19:00.002+08:00

been staying at home the entire day...
facing the screens...

TV,
laptop.

Watched Warlords, some HK dramas...

Quite meaningless I know.
But I can't get out.

There's nowhere to go...
In fact, there's no company.

Both are not valid reasons.
Can't get out is the crucial point.

Anyway, that's not the main thing I want to say.

Don't know why...
But somehow, night time seems to be the time that a person will start to feel alone, empty.

I remember the days when I use to have someone to talk to at night...
Almost every night if I didn't remember wrongly.
But that was years ago...

Haiz, just what is wrong with me?
Must be all the meaningless things.

Hopefully tomorrow will be good.
It will be good...

Except for the fact that I have been ordered to come home early.
Why can't I just have freedom like the rest of my friends?

Dinner @ AMK

2008-07-19T00:06:00.008+08:00

Lots of food~!

Almost everyone is spicy and hot!

Lucky you people, served by the 3 of us.

Just because we are slightly older... =P

Anyway, it was great fun!

Let the pictures do the talking...

the receiving end

2008-07-16T23:46:00.003+08:00

After lunch at KAP with Feli,
we made our way back to school.
Being lazy, we took a bus ride.
Paid for the concession anyway.

Missed the 1st bus that we can take,
had plenty of time, so it's alright.

Took 151, the next bus that came along.

'Thanks' with a smile was given to each of us who boarded the bus.
Nice bus driver!
He's young... and pretty good looking as well. *^-^*
Wished that I had a chance to thank him, he is the one providing us with service after all.
It's kinda weird that he is thanking us for making use of his service.

Reminded of the days in Ireland...

Calling names...

2008-07-16T12:06:00.002+08:00

I called someone "B**ch" in the public today.

I think she deserves it.

My maid and I were on our way down the Chinatown mrt station after buying some things.
Her handphone as usual, rang.
No doubt I agree that it was quite loud.
It's not one of the pleasant ring tone as well.

But that woman actually turned back to look.
Not once.
Not for a short look.
She looked long and hard.

When she reached the landing.
She said 'd* l**'

Yes, you might be irritated.
But do you have to express with such crude words?

Surely there isn't a need for you to ask your companion to take his phone out to use right?
Your way of answering your phone call seems like such an act.

I think her actions make she seem so boorish.
Yes, I am boorish to call her that... but I don't regret it.
Be it you hear it or not.

Exercise

2008-07-15T19:51:00.003+08:00

Finally did get to do some lab work.

Simple ones that did not require us to stay in the lab the entire day.
Lots of paperwork undone though...

I never seem to be able to read the scientific papers sufficiently.
Each time I read the same paper again, it feels like I have not read it before.
There are just too much information...
Too much things that we have not learnt.
What is with all the serovars?
Why must Salmonella be grouped so uniquely?
They are confusing me... confusing Feli as well...

Really wonder when will we be able to really settle down to do proper labwork,
have a proper lab to work in, which we can call it our 'base'.
I lost count of how many times I have to go up and down to labs at each end to get things or do work.
Though it is just a flight of stairs, which I really don't mind.
But it does get a little irritating when you are really in a hurry to do things.

It makes work seem a little unprofessional.

When all the bacteria growing stage is over, we shall settle down.
Feli, agree?
We will get to work in a lab which we feel a sense of belonging.

Primers primers primers....
Faster come!!
Somebody is getting really impatient.

Not like it's our fault.

Emitting heat

2008-07-07T18:35:00.002+08:00

Help me do my lit review...

I don't feel like doing.

All I feel like doing is to sleep this horrible heat sensation away.

24/7service?

2008-07-05T21:31:00.002+08:00

Send me a plumber.
I need to have my pipe fixed.
It is leaking.

Have not felt this way for a long long time.
Coming down with flu?
I hope not.
I still need to get my literature reviews done.
Not much progress today all thanks to this stupid spoiled pipe.

Feli, sorry.
You came to my house to watch me sleep.

Discharged!

2008-07-03T23:44:00.002+08:00

My camera has been discharged!!!

Wee~ Can take photos again...
Life was not as fun without it.

A $75 extended warranty in exchange for a $170 change of camera lens and cover plate on top of 4 years warranty.
Isn't that worth it?

Luckily I don't have to pay a single cent. =)

Seriously, I don't really accept the fact that the cover plate has been corroded.
How can that be possible?
If they say there are lots of scratches.
Yes, that I agree.

Oh wells... it's ok.
I don't have to pay.

It looks like I have a brand new camera.
Muacks~
Love my u710 that worked so hard for me.
Pity that you didn't get to see Rome.

Sun-kissed Day

2008-06-29T00:14:00.003+08:00

Last minute Sentosa outing invitation.
Went anyway... it was pretty good.
Never played in the sentosa sea longer than today's.
Love the sun...

Rushed home for dinner... pathetic dinner.

I think the internet is really boring.
Seriously there isn't anything much you can do.
Or rather I can do.
I get bored watching too much anime, reading too much comics.
Going to chat rooms is bad.
There aren't much good blogs to read.

Maybe I should really start reading scientific papers again...
Time to build up the momentum...

Panick

2008-06-26T01:05:00.002+08:00

I am getting really very worried over my OIAP Final Report.

The thickness of my Appendices is sufficient to pass of as the report itself!
The thickest portion of it is my Interim Report II.
Why did I write so much?! And I realized that my diagrams have no sub-labels.
Oh no!!

What's most worrying is that I am still waiting for replies from Ireland...
To have my project description portion read and areas for improvement pointed out.
Pointers to add in my discussion especially!!

Oh no oh no!!!
Dear J, please hurry!

It feels good running around the school again...

My fav photo of people

2008-06-22T23:19:00.003+08:00

Taken in Rome, by a drinking fountain in front of Pantheon, where we had sandwiches for lunch.

Thanks to Raymond.C for editing.

5th day back

2008-06-21T21:43:00.003+08:00

Back for 5 days out of which I only stayed home for 1 day.
Haven't had a proper meal with the old folks at home.

Anyway that's not what I want to talk about.

Went out to meet Mum today.
It's good to see her, but it's the usual thing.
Have lunch and off to her work place.
Exchanging conversations in between her free time.
Sometimes it really makes me sad.

I don't know if that is the reason why I felt so miserable on my way home.

I feel that everyone is so cold.
I wanted to smile to someone on the bus, on the street.
But they will surely think that I am a Ding-Dong.
I kept my smiles.
Makes me really wonder what kind of person I have been in the past.

Have I really changed so much?

It is not that I dislike life here.
But I just feel so different.

People, tell me.
Have I changed a lot?

Maybe I just need time to go back to be someone who treats strangers coldly.

Complete Family

2008-06-16T23:48:00.003+08:00

I am BACK!!!!
Frankly on the way back, was feeling quite sad to leave.
But now, I feel so happy to be back.

Had a superb surprise when I got home...
Many of the Brothers and Sisters were sitting in my living room watching tv.

The weird thing was I received HX's sms to welcome me back,
JH's call to welcome me back and that he can't come fetch me.
You all argh!!
Tricky things!

Thanks for all the food... the local delights.
Everything that I could miss are almost completed.
Thanks.
It's just nice looking at them though I would be better if I can eat them, all thanks to the flight.

How much thanks can I say?!
Hope you all know how I really feel...
Feels so very good to see you all...

Sorry, make you all waste money le...

We have a complete Family Potrait at last!!!

Teary eyes...

2008-06-13T00:59:00.003+08:00

Last day of work over.

Taught whatever I could to the 2 summer students.

Didn't have a good sleep the previous night.
Just feel kind of suffocated, tight lungs.
Very uncomfortable.
It's hard to say goodbye.

Firstly goodbye to a Lady on Monday,
Second on tuesday to our cute Supervisor. [forgot to take photo with him =( ]
Third to my project in charge on wednesday.
Many more on today, thursday.

1st goodbye of the day already made my tears flow, that was to the canteen aunties.
It's like they can still tell us that they remember the very first day we step into that canteen.

Subsequent ones... oh no.

Why can't Ireland be next to Singapore?
Or be like 1hr flight away?

We might never ever meet each other again.
That is sad.

Anyway, going to London tomorrow.
Hope everything turns out well...
I have no space to buy anything from London. =(

Going to be back really soon...
See you all back in hot sunny Singapore.

Letting go...

2008-06-09T17:11:00.002+08:00

Wanted to blog about Rome, but just don't really have the mood to do so...
There's just so much to say about.

Had a small dinner party at my supervisor's house last Thursday.
Really very enjoyable.
He stays in a very lovely place, beside a huge lake.
His dinning area has a very nice view of the lake.

He owns 4 very obedient dogs, 2 cats, 2 horses, a fish tank of sea creatures including hermit crabs, 3 ducks and don't know how many chickens.
Very unique house, really.

For once I have experienced for myself how an European dinner goes about.
Main course, dessert, cheese with some alcoholic drink followed by coffee with chocolate.

Anyway, the last weekend here is gone.
I had some trouble sleeping well last night.

Could it be because I am missing this place already.
It is really wonderful here...
I like the people, the lifestyle etc here.
But I miss the people back home.

Awww.... if only I can have the best of both worlds.

To Rome!!

2008-05-28T21:03:00.002+08:00

Heading to Rome tomorrow...

Super excited.

Pray that everything goes fine for us,
the place we stay seem to be filled with beggars.
I don't look down on them, but they scare me if they were to follow us.
Apparently, that's what they will do.

Can't wait to see all those wonderful structures etc!

abandoned

2008-05-23T01:00:00.007+08:00

My camera abandone me,
after visits to the Dublin Zoo and Dublin Castle.

No camera to use for Rome and London.

Oh no!

That feeling is horrid.

Going home soon...
Have been wondering how things will be like.
Maybe nothing has changed at all...
But things never stay the same in life.
I am sure there are changes waiting for me to adapt to.

Anyway, saw real gorillas in the Dublin Zoo.
Super super adorable! The baby gorilla.
I think they are very fascinating.

The silverback is HUGE!

Long Weekend

2008-05-09T00:52:00.004+08:00

The 2nd long weekend in Ireland.

Spent going to 3 different places.

Place1 - Sat

City Centre - Trinity College
How wonderful it is to be able to study in a University that is situated right in the City Centre where there are all the shopping centres within short walking distances.

But I think it will feel funny that you have so many tourists streaming into your campus each day... and if you happen to be one doing some sports in the green field, or having your sandwiches on those lovely grass patches, you'll be like some sort of exhibition.
Agree?

Went on the World's Only Ghost Bus tour.
Cost us 25euro each.
Duration 2 hours.
But it was great fun.
Hear ghost stories of Dublin, visited the most haunted places.

Had dinner in Eddie Rockets - City Diner.
Similar to Billy Bombers.
Food taste good, but rather ex.

Place 2 - Sun

Malahide castle, Fry Model Railway, Tara Palace and Talbot Botanic Garden.

Malahide castle is well preserved.
The interior designs are fantastic.
Every single piece of wood that cover every inch of the wall are carved!
Lots of other grand things as well.

Fry Model Railway makes me feel very fascinated.
As a child, I once wished I had a room where I can build my own model railway, with trains that can move. Just like those seen on some english movies.
Now that I am able to see such thing with my very own eyes right in front of me... it just feels great.
The railway they have built, is gigantic. I think it is the biggest in the world.
Lots of fine details are taken into consideration for all the model trains made.

Tara Palace - it is actually a Doll House.
Took 10 years to build. Magnificent work!
Very very detailed...
Ancient people have very nice Doll Houses... even had those meant for travelling.
I wonder if they really like dolls so much.. so that it's like their child even when they have grown up..
Perhaps they are rich ladies' hobbies.

Talbot Botanic Garden has plants from all over the world.
200 types... don't know if that include the indigenous ones.
If only I had more time to take the photos... the garden closes too early!! 5.30pm.
We only had about 2 hours in there.

Don't know why, but I think there's this plant that reminds me of Shrek.

Had dinner at SuperMac's in town.
Man.. their chicken rocks!!
Taste so good!!! Unlike KFC's.
I will miss their chicken here...

Place 3 - Dun Laoghaire

Met up with my supervisor and 1 previous batch NP student who was over here for OIAP, for lunch at Dakota.
Lunch was treated by my supervisor! So nice!
Who say that caucasians always go dutch?
Don't know how much the bill was...

Drove us to Dun Laoghaire.
Nice seaside... took a short walk on the pier.
Showed us Dublin4 - the rich men's place.

What's even better was, he took us to his mother's house!!
Traditional Irish home.
Nice big garden, with a pond in the middle.
We were given white nice.. which is one of the best I have ever had.
Fruity, smooth.
Got tricked into accepting.
His brother who was there tricked us into it...
We politely declined a drink but our words got twisted.. so we ended up having a glass of wine.
But I am glad we had it.

Sat in the garden...
Had small talks...
A pair of wild ducks flew into the pond!
Lovely.

If my life was to be spent in a foreign country,
I would like a garden of similar sort.
I would have wine to sip and a book in hand, lazing in the sun.
I guess that's how their life is like...

Had a slice of cake in the house...
Listen to their very basic conversation - about family members, taxes etc.

His mother is a very kind and warm old lady, who doesn't seem to be really old.

Got a ride back to town... offered to send us back, but the jeep is too small to accommodate us and his son with his gf, whom he picked up in town.
Of course we got out... willingly.
Man.. his son is 19, has lots of beard.
Looks older than me.
Doesn't seem to be in a very good mood on that day.. so.. oh well...
but he is not bad looking.
Really.

Roughly that's all...
This is such a super long post...

Looking forward to the next long weekend which will be spent in Rome!!
Ciao~

for more photos.. go http://www.weisan.shutterfly.com Malahide album.

First Pub

2008-05-01T01:15:00.005+08:00

Bored.
Machine needed to run my very first plate of gene screening is being used.
There’s no point to do my plating since it is not recommended to leave plates outside for too long without running them. It decreases the efficiency and results obtained.

It’s week 10.
It’ll be time to go home very soon.

Feeling quite happy.

Anyway, managed to enter a pub here in Dublin.
Lots of exercise done before we got there finally.
Because there’s no signage at the entrance. Not a single one.
All that it’s got were 2 fire torches.
Looks impressive though.

4 Dame Lane.

Didn’t dare to enter initially.
No one that we know had arrived.
It was freezing cold outside, took a deep breathe and made our very first step into those rather huge wooden doors.
The age limit stated on the entrance is 23.

Headed straight in.

Phew~ there’s a reserved table for our office people.
Happily sat in the corner in a sleepy state, waiting for others to arrive.

Felt a little intimidated.
The bar tender kept looking over.
Tried to act normal anyway.

The first drink.
Appletini.
It costs €13.
It ended up as a treat from one of our colleague.

Had a Mexican beer – Corona.
It’s nice.
Very light.
It is to be drunk with a slice of lime put into the bottle of beer.

We were sitting right at the end of the pub and didn’t notice that it was filled to the max until we tried to make our way out.
But it was fun.
People really do relax a lot after a few drinks and conversations were unlike those that take place in the office.
I guess that’s why people like to go for drink together after work.

I'm a stranger

2008-04-10T17:35:00.005+08:00

I actually felt bad after reading the post in that thread.
I felt like I've not done my part.

I felt like I'm a total stranger though I have access to it.

Why isn't it my fault?
It's my choice that I have made.

Why can't we just have things the way we want it to be?

Easter 2008

2008-03-25T22:44:00.002+08:00

It's been a month...

Life has been good.
Good in the sense that I'm still healthy and kicking.
Though meals can be quite irregular at times,
especially on weekends, when we're out shopping.

Had a few good meals that were prepared by ourselves.
Chicken Japanese curry, Ma Po Tou Fu, Mushroom stew, pork chop.
Yummy...
Though cooking such meals always leave us stinking.
Simples meals were prepared on other days.
Fry vegetables, canned soup, soup cooked using a mixture of ingredients etc.
Rice.
Yes, surely there must be rice to go with such dishes right?
Rice is being cooked using microwave.
I'll be an expert by the time I get back to S'pore.

Canteen food is rather good...
The staple, potatoes.
They do serve rice on certain days.

Laundry...
Light coloured ones are hand washed...
The rest are done within the washing machine on Wednesdays or Thursdays.
It's funny how those clothes are able to dry when left in a small room with little ventilation.
It's not cheap... 1.5 euro per laundry chip.
So now we load as much as we can. =P

Work use to start at 8.30am, and could be as early as 7.30am.
Don't be mistaken, our supervisor didn't torture us.
The timing is decided by us.
He didn't specify any timing at all.
My project in charge comes in earliest around 9.30am.
So as long as I get there before him, it'll be alright.
There isn't much to do for the past 1 week plus, hence we only get in by 9am.
Shiok right?! Hahaha...

The short week is over, the week with St Patrick's Monday and Good Friday.
St Patrick's parade was good.
The atmosphere is so so much different from that we have from Chingay.
Almost everyone heads to the City Centre to watch the parade, or just hang/roam around.
Didn't get a very good view though.
Got there too late... reason being, would not like to be reminded of it.

Booked a tour for the Good Friday - Easter Monday break.
Though Melvin did invite SJ and I to join them at London.
Since we paid 100euro each for the visa, why not make the full use of it to stay in Ireland?
But the tour is great. GREAT!
Scenes that are only seen on movies, paintings, documentaries are seen by my own eyes.

Kissed the Blarney Stone, one of the 99 things to do before dying as stated by National Geographic Channel.
It is suppose to bless me with the Gift of Eloquence.

Saw where Titanic's last port of call.

Touched the architecture, oratory, built by the early Christians of Ireland.

Stepped on the Inch Beach, where Ryan's Daughter was filmed, I have no idea what movie that is.
But the beach is lovely. There's water on it!

Paid 3.50 euro for a scoop of the best Ice Cream of Ireland, Murphy's.

Tasted Ireland's best Irish Coffee at the Red Fox Inn.

Tried Irish Stew and Bailey.

Had full Irish Breakfast and stayed in a typical Irish home for 2 nights.
Ate the traditional Fish and Chip in one of the typical take away outlet which seem to be rather popular.
Sat on Ireland's train.

Done and seen lots and lots of things within the 3 days.

The things and scenes seen are not easily descriable, and I think words will never be able to express how I really feel about it.
Never can the photos taken capture the real beauty of everything that had appeared before my eyes.
Ireland's Cork and Killarney - Dingle Peninsula and Ring of Kerry are lovely places to visit.

Now that the long weekend is over, there won't be anymore more long holidays.
Probably a 3 days weekend.
That will be the time to visit Dublin's attractions.

Seen so much... enjoyed so much that I can't tell how much that is.
But I still miss many things back in S'pore.
Guess which dish I miss eating... Chicken Rice. Hahaha... really!
I miss bathroom with toilet in it.
It's so troublesome to want to go toilet in the middle of a bath.
I miss taking SBS bus to get home when it's already quite late at night.
The familiarity and ease of doing things without fears of getting lost.
I miss the feeling of getting out the moment I am ready.

Shall write more on my next entry which I will not know when,

Pei Fen, happy? I did post ok?
Ming Kai, I updated already hor?!

4 words

2008-03-13T02:24:00.003+08:00

So much things to say.

Such limited opportunity.

If only I have internet access at my lodging.

The only words that make most sense now is...

I MISS YOU ALL.

photos are uploaded.. go to http://www.weisan.shutterfly.com

Brief and Beautiful

2008-02-22T00:50:00.001+08:00

I can't deny that the day didn't start off very well.
Went in for the exam without really finishing my revision.

Regret or not?
Not really... felt that all that I could remember is all that I have at that moment.
Stayed calm.
Can't do?
Bomb it.

Just like what I did for CCTA.
Trust me... just 'wack'

Just pray that I can pass...
and hopefully I'll be able to get an A for all the modules, except a B for BIF will make me very satisfied.
Though I know aiming for such hopes is ridiculous.
Just wish me all the best ok?!

What's brief but beautiful today?

The 1st outing out with 1M05 and 2M04 girls.
Ann, Feli, HQ, Kym, Mel, SJ.
Lunch at Taka's Seoul Garden.
The last visit was during Val's bday a few years back already... Sec 4?

Ate from about 1pm - 4 pm.
Spent quite sometime talking... Mr Bean, Bears, Teletubbies, Happy Tree Friends etc...
Shopping from 4pm - 7pm non-stop.

It was a good time out together.
Should have done this a long time ago...
Now that Year 2 has ended...
Some going to the other stream, others in different class.
Haiz...

Next beautiful moment.
My lovely squadmates...
Even Sing Joo turned up... rare guest..

Dinner at Hereen's NYDC.
They bought me mushroon fury slippers and a small cushion to bring over...
So cute!

Everyone's dressed for work...
Not too formal.. but enough to have office look.
So fast... they're into the working world already...

Best part...
I happen to see the waiter light candles on slices of cake walking towards a nearby table..
which reminded me of the cake we had for Ann in the afternoon.
Conversation carried on...
The next moment.
The cake was placed right in front of me.

2 slices of New York Goldmine, if I didn't remember the name wrongly,
2 large candles.

Haha~
Made to say out 2 wishes... another to remain as a secret.

They wish a Hot Irish for me though... right?
Hahaha~

It was a SUPERB YUMMY cake.

THANKS MY LOVELY LOVELY SQUADMATES.
For the love,
For the well wishes,
For the presents,
For taking time to meet me...

Met Jieming..
arranged to meet again...
for breakfast on sat.

Packed schedule...
but I guess all that matters is taking time to meet up..

It can all be very Brief yet Beautiful....

Miserable.

2008-02-20T05:47:00.000+08:00

This exam period just s**ks.

Obviously cause my mood was badly disturbed,
by those inconsiderate people living under the same roof as I do.

My heart just aches...
at the thoughts of almost 20 marks lost to a memory work paper.
Oh man... 20 marks.
Why didn't I remember more?
Why why why?!

I'm still harping on a done paper.
When I'm suppose to be studying for the next paper...
in less than 4hr time.

I'm still 14 chapters away from finishing.
That's just reading.
Not a single memory work.
If the paper require me to vomit anything out.
It'll all just be crap.

ARGH!
HATE THIS FEELING.

The last time I woke up in the wee hours to study was in Sec 3/4.
For A math.

Never would I expect myself to do this...

I think my GPA for this sem is going to drop drop drop.

I just feel like dying...

Please make me forget all these torturing memories.

2008-02-20T05:43:00.000+08:00

This seems quite true...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: evisan
Date: 2/19/2008
Colorgenics Number: 61743205

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Enough is enough - and you feel that you've had enough for a while. You don't need any more battles. You just would like to be able to shout 'stop' and experience a little peace and calm - even if it be only for a little while. This doesn't mean that you need to cut yourself off from the rest of the world - it just means that you are seeking some respite, some physical or emotional relaxation that could release some of the the tension and possibly reduce the internal conflict.

Your situation is such that at this time it is essential that you resolve your inherent problems immediately. You are not listening nor taking heed from your many friends and advisers, all of which believe it or not, 'wish you well'. Most of your colleagues feel that your attitude is out of context - an attitude of recklessness and desperation. It is imperative that some solution be found, but whatever you do, think before you act.

Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.

You are frustrated and stressed. You appreciate the finer things in life but at all times you appear to stay aloof, critical of everything and everyone about you. You will not be carried away by your emotions and you refuse to trust anyone or any situation unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore, you keep a strict and watchful control on your feelings as you must know exactly where you stand at all times. You demand complete sincerity as a protection against your own tendency to be too trusting.

You wish to safeguard yourself against criticism or conflict and to embed yourself in a protected situation. You are a difficult person to relate to and very difficult to please.

To be FAR AWAY from YOU

2008-02-16T15:53:00.004+08:00

If this is the way you want things to be just a week before I'm leaving for almost 4 months.

So be it.

Who's the petty one?
Me?
When you know that I didn't do it on purpose.
It's my education related matters anyway.
So what it's marked CONFIDENTIAL?
I thought it's for me.
If I knew it was yours, I wouldn't have opened it, feeling puzzled why the school send me 2 of the same letters right?

Are you brainless or what?

You think everyone's such a busybody?
Such a WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING?

'Unethical'.
You said that it's unethical, of course I know that.
But it's not like you have never never read my personal letters, touched my other personal things?

Ha.
Think about it.
It's my exam period.
Be considerate can?
You TOTALLY SPOIL my study mood.

Such a small matter and you want to make such a big hoo-ha over it.
Being unable to sleep for a night just because of this.
I think you've got a very very small heart.

When I've finally sort of put it aside, you brought it up.
You think everyone's heart is as small as yours?

I pulled a long face today because I was unhappy that you DEMANDED me to help you when I took sometime off to watch a TV programme.
Can't you understand I do need a break?!

It's you who wants to TREAT everyone.
So do it yourself!!
Make others help you unwillingly, and so very sweet of you to make them clear up for you too.

BUG OFF.
****er!

One is a CONTROL FREAK, WHO THINKS SHE'S THE QUEEN.
The other a NAGGY, ECCENTRIC SPY.

I can't wait to get far far away...
and wish that I will never need to stay with you all.

Sleep-full CNY

2008-02-10T01:46:00.000+08:00

It's always sleep-full for almost every single CNY trip home.
This year's especially.

Which I am really glad about.
Too tired from all the tests etc...

Though there's exams to come.

Anyway,
food wise... not as good as last year's.
But it's alright.
As long as they are cooked by my mum.

Had steamed kampong chicken.
Uncle bought an 'old' chicken.
Super tough.
It's like fighting with it when you want to tear it's flesh apart from the bone.

Visit to (another) Uncle's house...
Kids are growing up quickly.
Cousin younger than me dresses more lady like than I do.
Is it really necessary for girls to wear dresses, skirts, frilly tops etc. to be considered feminine?

2 babies.
Really cute ones.

My brother and I looked through our baby photos.
Too bad.
I didn't have a scanner or a proper camera to take pictures of them.
Maybe next year.

Saw mum in her younger days.
In skirts and shorts.
She does have her charms. ^-*

Back in S'pore,
mum and I saw a few girls in skirts, that's not too short, with leggings.
I mention that it looks like aerobics outfit.
She agreed, and said that it was once fashionable in the past.
Hahaha.. retro.

I asked if she think it's nice.
Know what she told me?
Not to dress up in that manner as Simplicity is Beauty.
She likes me the way I am.
Jeans and Tee.

For once...
someone who thinks my dress sense is beautiful.
Haha...

Without fail,
I'll be asked about my studies.
Quick calculations tells that somehow I will still have at least another 8 years to go, if I can get to the top.
That's the number I told anyone who asked.
My youngest aunt in Penang said: by then she'll be an old maid already.
Haha... seriously, does it really matter?

What really matters in the course of our lifetime?

I wonder...

Slog

2008-02-04T00:26:00.000+08:00

I can't believe that I have to slog so hard before CNY.

What more?

During CNY.

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!

That few centimeters thick lecture notes of each module seriously makes me feel like there is really no time for anything else if I want good grades.
*each sheet of paper on the average holds 4 slides on each page*

I'm having the worst sem of my years in poly so far...

On top of all the preparations to be done for OIAP.

Haiz.

I need to breathe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-29T22:17:00.000+08:00

Tired.

Aji Teh

2008-01-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

Took time off to make another trip down to Cantonment Police Headquarters to apply for Certification of No Criminal Conviction (CNCC).
Felt that I really wasted my monday morning going there.
Why is it that we can't apply for it even if there is no proof that it's required?
We're still paying for it after all.
Anyway, buying egg-tarts makes the trip a little more worthwhile.
Whoever that managed to have a taste of it, hope you like it.

Smooth application today.
Took around 15 mins to get everything done.
Decided to accompany SJ to her dental appointment.
Really like the feel of that place... classy.
Nice jazz music as well.

Decided to have lunch at Aji Teh (Taka)
At least I have a better impression of that restaurant now.
It was a really bad experience at the PS's outlet.

Food was really good!
Brinjal, skewed meat with asparagus, fried lotus roots and curry soup.
Yummy!!!
So full that we couldn't have dessert.

Finally had a taste of Ramane.
More commonly known as Marble Ball Drink.
I know I'm outdated.
Primary schoolmates of mine have countless taste of it during days when we have to stay back for remedials.
But I never bought or had a single sip of it before.
But it tastes good... not too sweet.
I like the bottle.
Very pretty with transparent marble in it. =)

Wee~!
Bought the pretty apple print top!
Wonder when I'll wear it though...

Anyway, spanish lesson is coming to an end.
Tests have been alright.... not too bad.
Can pass..
But getting good grade is another matter.

Feeling so tired.
Just feel like taking time to sleep and sleep...
But there's no time already.

In a month's time...
Exams will be over.. and I'll be somewhere else already!
Wah!!!
More time for studying please!!!

Hard-pressed for time

2008-01-19T20:18:00.000+08:00

Been a long while...
So many things to talk about,
But some are forgotten already.
Let's just see what will come to my mind.

Have not been able to really sit down to study,
due to all the activities... night cycling, open house, bee's charity event, preparing for Ireland.

Night Cycling...

Was really really glad that it went on smoothly.
No major casualty.
Wonderful weather... both on event day and recce day.
It rained heavily in the evening... but cleared up when we set of.
How blessed!
Though accounts are still not cleared till now... but I'm pretty sure we have to fork pockets.

Open House...

Helped out for 5hr as a course counsellor.
Not too bad.
I feel happy when I know that there are younger students who are interested in life science as well.

Bee's charity event...

Which was today. Not too bad...
Didn't really work very hard as well... but had a chance to come into contact with smart kids of NUS High.
There's really something different in them.
Intelligence.
How nice if I have a little more of it.

Rested at the food centre...
Went for a little shopping at IMM after that...
It was a decision made on impulse.. haha

Finally collected my air-ticket.
Which is just a piece of paper with words written on it.
That's the present day's e-ticket.
$1810. Cheaper than expected.

Bought gifts as well...
Spent quite a bit of money....
Still have a handmade book to complete.
I better get started soon.

CT 2 is drawing really really near...
Don't even have time to prepare due to all the projects.

I studied harder for Spanish than any other modules..

Due to having tests for 3 consecutive weeks...
Spanish is quite lovely except for the part that I keep mixing it up with French.
I miss French classes...

Celebrated HX's birthday....
Never really made someone such a massive gift before...
A gigantic collage of photos and notes.
Hope she like it.. though it's last minute work.
But I was really happy.. cause everyone helped cut the photos!!!
I conclude that I am lousy in using scissors. Pen-knife is a better choice for me.

Met up with my lovely Sec 2 PC group.
They all got so much prettier...
Ai yo!!! I want to be pretty too!
There were no awkward silence...
It felt like we have always been close...
How wonderful it felt... especially when I was feeling that almost all my Cedar friends are gone.
True friends will always remain...

The thoughts of Death

2008-01-05T19:14:00.000+08:00

Started the year feeling that I want to die.

I know it's bad.

It's negative.

Very negative.

I always get such feelings when I get bad results.
Results gotten back so far were horrid.
Not the worst.
But not good enough.

Yes.. I only have myself to blame.
Study only 2 days before the papers.
What kind of results am I suppose to expect.
Being able to get those I have gotten, I guess I should be happy.

It's time to be back to a nerd.
Was never really a nerd anyway...

I just don't know where I spend all my time on.
Sleeping? Highly possible.
Other things except studying.

My time in the comm will soon be over too...
So fast and it's been a year.

I wonder what I have contributed.
It seems like nothing at all.

2007 - 2008

2008-01-01T12:39:00.000+08:00

2007

The one thing that I always look forward to during Christmas is OG's words.
But it seems I have finally been forgotten.

Academically, I guess I didn't do too badly.

Other aspects...
Cleared my old computer set... found some old letters....
Forgotten ones. Some that brought sweet memories... some that brought sadness.

Made some really good friends...
But I guess I was forgotten by lots.

2008

Striving for better grades.
Means more hardwork.
Time to stop slacking around.

Looking forward to the highlight of the year - Dublin's attachment.
Hope I'll do well there...

Darwin mentioned that I should get a BF. But seriously, that can wait.
Still got time.
Hopefully.

Hope to be able to go overseas Uni.
Seems kinda far to think of it.. but it isn't.
Will be too late to apply to wait till after graduation.
Argh... more of it after attachment.

Happy New Year Everyone!!

5 brothers 4 sisters

2007-12-25T19:57:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas!

Thanks to 4 sisters and 5 brothers for the wonderful day!

It has been the best Christmas Eve I've ever had.

Past Christmas Eves have either been staying at home or attend small family party.

Now that that aunt of mine who never fails to organise bbq is gone,
no family bbq at chalet and no more log cake.

This year's is much more fun.

'Family' picnic with the attendance of 4 sisters and 5 brothers.

Feli, HX, PF, JH, MC, Edmar, KH and XL.

Though the meeting up was a 'little' draggy but there weren't any complains or impatience.

As some of them had a little 'excursion' before being able to reach meeting point.

Picnic on a red stage in the middle of Palawan Beach.

It seems we never had to sit on the sand or floor to picnic at all..

the last time round, sisters' picnic, we sit the shelter too!

Talking about shelter,

when we were walking towards the stage, it began to drizzle.

Stopped as quickly as it started.

After having our fill, went to the Southernmost Point of Asia Continent.

Just when we reach the other end of the suspension bridge it began to drizzle again.

But stopped once we got back to the tent.

Weird. Like we are not allowed to be out playing...

Love the feeling on the suspension bridge.

Due to the breeze and the slight movement of the bridge,

we felt as if we're onboard a ship that's moving forward.

A game of Captain ball in the name of family bonding.

Else I won't be playing either... haha

KH ended up sleeing on the stage.

Girls vs Boys.

I think we played quite well...

though I think the guys were giving chance initially.

PF rocks!

Her standing area became so much bigger.

'You never say I cannot draw bigger box what!'

Best argh you, PF!

Play water...

Walked barefoot to Siloso...

Bath and time to get out of the island.

Dinner...

KH practically ate more than half my bowl of rice which I couldn't finish.

That's cause I can barely eat half a bowl...

Shopping!

Got a white shirt from Pull and Bear.

Love it! Wohoo~ I'm in love with shirts.

The way we shop is funny..

Go into a shop, split into 2 groups.

Or go different shop and whichever group finishes first go find the other.

I think JH is funny.

Cause he'll want to see what people has bought.

PageOne.

The lovely bookshop.

They have very nice stationeries too...

Rooftop.

Nice christmas tree...

It was when I realized how big vivo's rooftop is...

With all the leveled seats at 2 sides... lots of people were hanging around there..

Went Daiso to get drinks.

Lucky me got my planner!!

$2 cheap and nice planner.

Decided to go get movie tickets.

No more 0024 show.

0130 2nd row from the front.

Acceptable distance. But butt pain.

Roamed around...

Suppose to have a countdown.

Ended up welcoming Christmas day in Long John Silver's.

Lendl called... HX.

Demanded that he called all 4 of us..

Thanks Lendl. You're the only one who called to wish me.

I am Legend.

Simple story.

Story on it's on is not worth the $9.50.

But it's the company.. and the theater effects.

Got shocked a few times. >.<

Slacked around while waiting for the 1st bus to get home.

It had been good...

Would have been better if all the sisters were present.

It's ok.. we'll have more family gathering to come!

2007-12-22T01:39:00.000+08:00

2 movies in a week.

Warlords on Tuesday with Feli, HX, Nikki, Jeremiah, MC and KH.
Nice movie...
Very motivating... high morale.
The weird thing was, we were joking during the movie.
The cross that bless the dead.

National Treasure with my aunt and uncle, on Thursday.
Kinda unbelievable.
But it's interesting.. if only such things do exist in the world.

Day out on Tuesday made me cross path with quite a number of Cedarians.

Ping Siew at FarEast.
It's scary how she spotted me from afar.

Yuanli and her 'gang' at Taka.
Too bad I didn't get to meet SuiHui.

Janica when I was walking home.
Oh... those days when we always walk home together...

But somehow I feel so distant from them..
I guess I've made closer friends in poly then back in sec school...

Thanks friends...
especially my 7 sisters, brothers, brother-in-law and family friend. :)

lost steam

2007-12-13T20:01:00.000+08:00

Last paper tomorrow...

From the end of Immuno paper yesterday till DBG paper tomorrow,

there should be sufficient studying time.

Time to memorize things.

But things didn't really turn out the way I planned.

Slept yesterday's entire afternoon away.

Don't know what I have been doing this afternoon as well.

About that sleep.

I lost all feelings and conscious.

I was in deep sleep.

When I woke up, I actually thought that I died.

Because recalling how I did not feel anything during the sleep is actually quite scary.

Die die die.

It's a little late to regret for slacking all my time away.

Argh!!!

I hope DBG paper will be alright.

More applications...

less memory work.

Never believe in memory work...

I'm lousy at that.

Never seem to be able to remember things well.

Mum called today...

I really hope she'll be able to get leave during my 2 weeks holidays.

I want to go home...

What's the point?

2007-12-08T22:29:00.000+08:00

I really don't see the point of studying those things stated in my CCTA lectures.

This is despite being at it for the entire day.

Going out for The Golden Compass tomorrow though I still have tons to go through.

Haven't even started on Immuno and DBG.

Ha.

Whatever.

My eyes are tired.

The white portion is already dull and not white.

It's ugly.

Yucks.

Anyway I got so bored studying at times that I decided to take some photos.

All I want for Christmas...

2007-12-02T23:35:00.000+08:00

My wish list:

Academic: Extremely good grades (which no one can grant me)

Handphone: Sony Ericsson S500I (which is quite out of reach since I have to save for OIAP)

Clothes: the money to buy any piece that catch my eye (which isn't a lot of money since no many will catch my eye)

Shoes: A pair of simple yet not too expensive shoe.
Movies: Warlords, The Golden Compass, etc.
Physically: lose some weight. Believe me when I say that I've gained weight.

The list goes on...

But to think deeper into it...
Those things seem so insignificant.

They are not what I really want.
What do I really want?

Not to be feeling so empty.
Not to be feeling so dead.
I want to feel like I'm alive.
I want my presence to be acknowledged.
Suppose that will be hard.

Especially when I have left for OIAP.

Enough of those stupid emo words.

I am suppose to be feeling happy today.

Met my brother...

Went shopping.

Yes.

Spent lots of money.

Bought him 2 shirts.
Shared a jigsaw puzzle for mum.

Got myself 2 white top.

Snacked.

Easily spent a blue note away.

My brother has very muscular arms...

Sitting beside him makes me feel that he is strong.

I think I'm a typical proud-of-my-brother sister.

Had buffet yesterday at Vienna International Restaurant.

The food is lovely!!!
It was a pity that I forgot to bring my camera.
All the dishes were nicely decorated and presented.

They taste real good as well.\

Good quality food.

Ate for one and a half hour non-stop.

How I wish I can go back there soon.

To take some good shots at those pretty dishes.

Various salads...

Baby juice - test tube drink...

Anyone interested to go?

Make it through the night...

2007-11-28T05:02:00.000+08:00

It's 5am!!!

Haven't had a wink.
Need to prepare to leave for school in an hour's time.
I guess it's too late for me to sleep already...
I'll end up being late for 8am's lecture.

It's ridiculous to stay up through the night.

Especially for someone like me who loves to sleep.

But at least I feel relieved that my part is more or less done.

and I can go for training! Haha~

I just cannot understand how some people can have such a laid-back attitude towards their work.

Or in other words:

Can't be bothered.

Thinking about it makes my blood boil.

Now that it's done...

I start to feel that my hands are getting numb,

my feet are getting really cold.

and I'm afraid that I'll go blind soon.

Feli,

like I said.

We'll make it through!

Just a little bit more to go!

CT... haha...
maybe I should try not doing well for once?

I guess that is super impossible.

I'll just kill myself.

Seriously can't cope well in this sem...

Why is it so tough?

Can't wait to get over it... with still not too bad grades.

Videos

2007-11-27T01:33:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to Steph! Hope you had a happy dinner with us.

I can't believe I actually found so much amusement in these bluetack made animals...

温暖牌

2007-11-23T00:21:00.000+08:00

还没确定前，我想让您知道。
不想让您觉得你不曾有我这个孩子。
因为那是您亲口说过的：

我有两个孩子，却好像没有一样。

到了那边不要常常想我，电话费很贵。
SMS就好。

难道，您认为在这时，此时此刻，我不想念您吗？
发简讯的次数不多，打电话给您的次数是少得可怜。
可是那并不代表您已被遗忘。

您没有依依不舍。
反正您重来未曾过。
是不要让我难过，还是我们早已疏远，很远很远。。。

我嫉妒，我对您生活的了解不胜过在您周遭的人。

我感动，当您说您要织一条温暖牌围巾给我。。。

我想，我们拥有一个很不寻常的母女关系。

Fetal Education

What my mother was doing when she was pregnant with my brother and I.

Mine:
Eat
Sleep
Watch tv
Knitting

My brother's:
More brain usage activities. eg gambling

The turn out:
I asked to go school at the age of 2.
My brother refused to go to school.

My mum questioned how funny we both turn out to be.

Though it's a day spent watching you work,
spending a couple of hours travelling just to have a meal with you,
talk to you for less than 50 sentences,
it's all worth the while.
Because that's how much I miss you.

A stipid fool-

Bus

2007-11-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

A pretty lucky day.
Bus came quickly on my way home.
Boarded the bus around 11.09pm.

Could have reached home by 11.35pm.
All thanks to the bus driver.
Who didn't allow me to alight at KK Hosp. though I rang the bell.
And the bell refuse to ring again when I pressed it multiple times.

Rah~

Ended up having to walk from Little India.
Walking distance is slightly twice more than the usual.
It's not the walking distance that I mind.
But having to walk from there is sort of... scary.

There were quite a number of people sitting along the pavements, drinking and eating.
Couldn't allow myself to slow down.
Especially when I was just in shorts and t-shirt, which isn't very nice.
I know... like some (guys) said, 'I'm' man... part of them.

Haiz. Whatever.

Anyway kinda like today's training to a certain extent.
Finally get to have some good exercise.
But I think it's just alright.

Kinda miss OB trainings...
Has been too long since I last went...
All thanks to my timetable.
Argh...

Diet plan.
Hmmm... how can I ever succeed?
When e.g today.
Finally managed not to have dinner except for juices.
Came home... there is Lana cake waiting for me...
Ate a long slice.. Yum.

Eh... sisters.
Include me in the diet plan leh! =P

Undone work

2007-11-18T03:06:00.000+08:00

There's so much to do...
Partly myself to blame for keeping things till the last minute.

Half done for my pedigree and Monday is the deadline.
Monday is the presentation for MMB as well. My group's presentation is not done yet.
Conclusion for Immunology's practical is not drawn yet.
No revision has been done.
More cca things not done.

Everything just seem undone to me.

Argh!!!!!

But I took time to indulge in my loves~

more to be seen at
http://evisan3.shutterfly.com

Slow down

2007-11-15T00:34:00.000+08:00

Sitting,
Watching.

The cold surface,
The world passing by.

Suffocating,
Weary.

Take a breath,
Take a short break from the familiarities.

The Week

2007-11-11T02:09:00.001+08:00

My lucky draw prize from school.

It's 1GB, better than last year's 512MB. =)

A dragonfly landed on me when I was waiting for OIAP's interview.

It wouldn't fly no matter how much I moved.

Feli wants to give it a contrast.

I do think it's pretty.

See the one with different colours?

It gives me a feel of Clown, Funfair, Children Party.

Memories

2007-11-08T23:45:00.000+08:00

Decided to look through some old albums to look for photos of my relatives for the pedigree project.

Found lots of funny ones...

I can't help but think that my little brother is so adorable.

Look at my brother and my Daddy, when he was still plum.

Taadaa~
Look at my strong Daddy!!
Manx.. I really miss him.
This pic is a shot that I forced him to pose for... I remember it so well...

It's funny... all the photos I looked through didn't have any of him when he was just a pack of bones.
I guess it's a good thing.
At least we won't be reminded of how much he went through and will always remember the fit and plum him.

I Love You Daddy!

Home Late

2007-11-08T01:28:00.000+08:00

Training ended near 11.30pm

Not a single call or sms from my aunt.

It got me a little worried.

I called home, called her hp but no answer.

Let it be, but felt weird at the same time.

But I did enjoy the feel of doing what I want.

Got home near 1am.

The house was in pitch darkness.

Everyone was asleep and just like I guessed.

She had gone home for the night.

Ha! Yeah!

Happy stay home clear work day to me.

At least I'll be going PF house to do Finance thing.

Shall blog all I want in the morning.

Flies

2007-11-06T23:37:00.000+08:00

I really want to blog!!

But I have no time.

Busy drawing flies.

Credits to R.C for making it looks more attractive.

HP no.

2007-11-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

Clean and Green Singapore 2007.

Not too bad a part time job.

Really happy that I got a Primary School group.
They are really cute.
A few are extremely adorable!

There were this two little Malay boys in particular.
They managed to get a strip of 6 packet drinks.
Know what they did, unlike their peers?
They went around distributing keeping only 2 for themselves,
while the rest want to bring home all 6 packets.

Though I had to do extra work bringing the kids around,
help them collect gifts, bring them to toilet,
but I didn't mind.
I am happy to serve them.

Had a lovely surprise at the first tentage while looking out for the kids playing the games,
saw a familiar orange rim spectacle.
It's as eye-catching as ever.
Yeah, my LL module-mate. RX.

He didn't see me, so I decided to walk over.
Tapped his shoulders.
Ha. Hope I didn't give him a shock.
He was surprised. Won't doubt that.

Went off quickly, didn't want to disrupt his work.
I have my own duties to do as well...
But he was so nice!
Came to me and said: I go with you.
So yup. Had company for part of the tour.
Free service as well, for holding the wooden signboard.
Even offered to help me get to know one guy, whom I doubt he knows.

Felt really bad...that he came to help me.
Anyway, I've never met someone who asked for hp no. like he did.
There he was, hp in hand, mouth open with no words coming out.

Someone said he is weird.
He's not.
He just thinks very deeply and in a very unique way.
Just like XL.

Manx. Those kids are lovely.
I am one of the fortunate ones to get well-behaved kids.
They were appreciative as well.
Thank-ed and said goodbye to me...

Second group that I took wasn't very difficult to handle.
Just a little trying to 'joke' with me.
But it's ok, I can take it... can't blame old folks.
I won't want to make them walk too quickly and stand on the grass patch if I can help it.
But shouldn't old folks be more understanding?
Brought them through the exhibits breezely... because they were rushing off to Little India.

Just as I was resting after sending off the first group,
received a call, regarding some SIA, credit cards survey.
I practically answered without even understanding what he was saying, but just parts of it.
Now you know why it's best to sms me instead.
My hp is good for those with sharp hearing.

Anyway, that funny guy started asking how old I am and if I have a bf, if I didn't hear wrongly.
I never knew I sound young.
Never did I expect a telemarketer to ask the potential customer such questions as well.
Weird person.
Even called me when I was about to reach home.
The world is small.
He turned out to be a M'sian as well.
A real chatty guy. It just once again made me realise that I don't really talk much.

The thought of G.L still make my blood boils.
I never disrespected anyone for I don't know how many years of my education.
But now I did and I hope he will do something that will change my impression of him.
It's just my luck to meet him.

Looking forward to working tomorrow...

Being myself.

2007-11-01T23:09:00.000+08:00

I am myself when I am with my friends.

It is when I can laugh whole-heartedly, with no restrains.

It is when I feel as if I have only happiness in me.

It is when I start to talk more.

It is when I share laughters that are so pure.

I really dread when all of us have to move on to the next phase...

2007-11-01T11:20:00.000+08:00

Just look at those smiles...
How would you bear to let it be forgotten?

credits to our dear senior HN for the photos..

Wrecker

2007-10-31T23:27:00.000+08:00

Feeling a little regretful for today's decision.

Maybe I shouldn't have been there.
I feel that I am incompetent.
I didn't make things right.

Maybe it's time to take a break.
Stop going for some time.

Wanted to have some exercises today.
Ended up having lots of it.
All thanks to my own bad habit.

After scanning things, just leave them there.
Happily went to school without a complete application form.
Deadline was today.
Spent 2 hr break making a trip home.
Walked 6 bus stops.
Buses just like to play tricks on me. Argh.
It's over anyway.

Somehow exercise helps make a person feel better.
Not just happier.

Lots of disappointments today.
But let's not talk about it anymore.
I just wish to forget about it.

When rapport fades,
it's hard to build again.

Imagine...

2007-10-30T00:10:00.000+08:00

This post is going to mention things that will cause some discomfort.
So be warned. It is rated M18.
Don't come asking what is wrong with me.
I'm no saint after all.

I do allow my thoughts to roam at times...

Thanks to inspirations from Feli.
Credits to you for this entry.

Have you ever imagined...
Doing 'it'.

On the beach,
won't the fine sand get into 'places' you least wanted?

In the jungle,
won't there be lots of crawlies, crawling all over?

By the pond,
won't the ground be muddy, and you ended up having a mud bath instead?

There's so many unusual places...
that somehow don't seem to be the best place for such an activity...
but is that the reason why all the more people want to give it a try?
Because it will be even more exciting...

Funny feelings.

2007-10-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

Week 2 of school just went past like that.

Just as I was back in the school library with Feli today,
I can't even recall all that I ate for lunch on the past weekdays.
Wonder how I really went through the entire week...
Maybe the days just went past without me remembering much of what really happened.

Suppose there's just too many things...
So many heavy modules, long practicals,
Rushing from venues to venues.

What I remember most clearly was the DBG lab.
Drawing of various Drosophila Melanogaster, aka fruit fly; banana fly.
I got really frustrated that I wanted to give up after drawing 4 out of 12.
But one thing that I was really glad to discover is that I can draw pretty well after all!
People can really exceed their limits when circumstances call for it.

Apart from that, Thursday was one of the more eventful day.
ICA in the morning,
study session with PF in school in the afternoon while waiting for NS.
Dinner at market, luck game at Beauty World, viewing of the GL's band.

Passed by this very old style bakery.
One of these days I'm going back there to try their cake.
Really nice shop.. rare sight.

Friday's Immunology lab of looking at own blood sample was fun too.
I was a little worried actually.
Wasn't feeling well... and lately I just have this thoughts that I am likely to have cancer.
Because there were cases of cancer in my family.
But I'm not afraid of dying... it's more of not achieveing my goals before I die.

Supernatural Season 2 has come to an end...
Can't wait for Season 3.
Felt really sad seeing Dean Winchester shed tears...

Don't know why my heart feels so hollow..
and there's waves of slight wrench.
The feeling is uncomfortable.
I feel like taking it out.
To examine it... or whatever.

The feeling of the heart sinking is miserable.

Bug OFF!

2007-10-22T22:16:00.000+08:00

'You all don't understand.'
'It's different for an office.'
'Ya, she's good at computer but very impatient.'

It's an early day off for me today.
Was already half way home by 3.45pm.
Missed the stupid bus when I was waiting to cross the traffic.

A call from a person I dreaded most.
If only I was still in class.
Or in school.

But because I was already on my way home.
There was no reason for me to turn down her request.
To make a trip to her office.

What she needed is for me to set up an account in her computer for mails.
It's something that can be done easily.
I don't understand why she can't do it.

So you see,
when people claim that they are smart,
often then not it's somehow quite the opposite.

Set up Windows Mail for her,
since there's no more Outlook Express in Vista,
and I think it should be better than Ms Outlook.

Yes, I really don't understand.
You never told me you already had the contacts created in Ms Outlooks,
all that you said was: I prefer the other.

They are different things.
I did it out of kindness knowing that you're used to Outlook Express,
Windows Mail might be better for you.

Now you turn around and say I am impatient.
Yes, indeed, I am impatient.
If I am, I wouldn't have took time again and again to help you.

Every time I take time and efforts to help you,
was it being appreciated?
Though you said thanks, I wonder if you meant them.

Remember the Microsoft Office incident?
After all the trouble I had to go through in order to have it installed.
You turned around and complained that it's too complicated and had it uninstalled.

I know.
If my classes are in the afternoon tomorrow,
you would have me go down and have it 'fixed' for you.

'Never mind,
I'll call the internet people,
they will guide me through step by step.'

Then why didn't you do that today?
But had me to go down?
I thought you always wanted me to spend all my time on studies?

One good consolation,
I 'shot' her before I left.
She deserves it.

Just when I was about to leave
She: 'Going home already?'
Me: 'Then?'

Asking the obvious.
Told her I was already on the way home
when she called me to go down to her office.

Whatever.
I know I sound like an ingrate.
Say whatever you want of me.

I wouldn't mind if you want to kill me as well.
What's there in life anyway?
Nothing much.

I sound like I'm AT RISK eh?

Shopping

2007-10-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

Shopping will only give maximum enjoyment and fulfillment
if you have all the money you need to get whatever you like
and not have to regret later.

There's so many things to buy.
But there's lots of limit to the way money should be spent.

Got approached by 3 guys promoting some saving plans.
Feli thinks that it's lucky....
She said it shows that we're pretty. Haha.
The funny thing is they never guessed that we are from NP.
And one of them thought we are in Nursing course.
Gosh... I don't think I look like a nurse-to-be!

I can tell that the last guy doesn't really enjoy his job.
Cause he seemed to be mocking at it to us.
Guess it's not easy to promote.

Long day of shopping.
1pm + till 6pm+
We sure can shop...
But I guess if we are that sort of girls who go for skirts, dresses and make-up,
such a duration will not be sufficient.

Back to school...

2007-10-18T21:16:00.000+08:00

I love being back in school.
The familiar faces...
The laughters among us...
The usual hangouts between break...
The bookshop aunty's temperamental looks.

First day of school was just 3 hours of lectures...
But Feli and I decided to go early.
Just to queue up to purchase notes.
Yeah... it's the kiasu mentality.
But why not? Since lecture only starts at 11am.
Give ourselves sometime to take in the back to school atmosphere!

I don't know why,
but I was quite delighted to see Nadjmi.
Probably, cause didn't get to see him throughout the entire holidays.
I miss his chain of actions to express how cold or lame the jokes sounded to him.

Happy dinner with Feli.
It's funny.
We see each other almost everyday during the holidays...
Yet we longed to go out together.
Felt so super tired just after the first day...
It must be the long queues...

I realized that I have some really interesting lecturers this semester.
They are animated.
Easily amused over small things.
Good jokes as well.
It's a good thing, since most of the modules are super dry.

Wednesdays will be the worst days of the week.
Multiple lectures and long hours of practicals.
Then the rush to training!
I wonder how am I going to go through...

I was trying so hard to stay awake during my Immunology lecture.
Not that it was boring...
It's just that there was too much informations.

It's not going to be easy...
Since it's so difficult to stay attentive.
Have to do daily revision already...

Feeling pretty good to have no classes on Thursdays.
Can use the time to catch up on work.
That is if I were to be disciplined.
But I always waste so much unnecessary time on I don't know what.

School library is stupid.
Early afternoon, the speaker blasted with instrumental music.
And I really mean Blasted.
Those music are meant to be played in low volumes in order to give a soothing and mind stimulating effects.
Just imagine a piece playing with quick piano keys... your heart just tend to race with it!
It makes you nervous.
It might even cause a person to have a heart attack I suppose.

Looking forward to tomorrow!
Retreat for the staffs.
Happy day for the students!
But poor BLT students... jia you!

It's yet another day out with Feli!

Umbrella

2007-10-14T02:19:00.000+08:00

My eldest aunt came.
Went to the market to get some prayer things.

The sky was dark.
Looked like it will rain anytime.

She grabbed an umbrella from the corner of the room where we keep them.
She left it open to dry in the hall as we always did.

Younger uncle as usual.
Went to take a look.

'Why is there a Singapore Casket umbrella?'

A series of frenzies followed.

The umbrella was dumped immediately.
The 'investigation' begun.

Aunt insisted on finding out how such an umbrella landed in the house.
The 'game' of Finger pointings started.

Eldest Aunt was the most sensible.
'Now that the umbrella has been thrown away, just forget it.'

Totally agree with her!
Why harp on it? So what if you have found out who brought it home?

Blaming it for not striking 4D, not winning in mah jiong.
Why be so superstitious?

Why go through all that?
It's just an umbrella.
If you're superstitious, just throw it away and end it there.
Sprinkle whatever flower water, rinse the other umbrellas.
Leave my bears alone.
They don't need water to be sprinkled on them.

And as usual, you always want to have the last say.
The finger is never pointed at yourself.
But remember, the other 3 are towards yourself.

Long Entry

2007-10-12T12:07:00.000+08:00

Never been back in Malaysia for such a long period.
3D2N camp.
4D3N home.

~*~*~

Camp

No feeling as the day to embark for the camp drew nearer.
Probably because I'm no longer going there for the first time and am no longer the participant.
But I got really frustrated on Thurs, just the day before the camp.
All thanks to Her. Messed up my schedule.
But it's ok. Now that it's over. Turned out alright anyway.

Day 1 was fun.
Jetty jump. I like the one I did at OBS better. Higher jetty.
River cascade. Didn't get to do the actual thing. How nice if we did.
IJ. No longer had the same feel when I was the camper.

Day 2 was The Day of this camp.
Panti hike. It seemed much more relaxing. Not that the first aid kit was super light.
It was a different kind of burden.
The excitement was no longer there...
Camp fire. The only time I got really really high!! But it was a great campfire night.
Got really touched when my group's GLs told us that they love us. Because I personally felt that we didn't have much impact on them and didn't really help them much.

Day 3 was the wrap up.
Clean up. Alright.
Photo session was crazy.
Never remembered us taking so many photos when we were GLs.
Probably because this time round there were more cameras.

Sometimes it's really good to thrash things out. But during the appropriate occasion.

Dinner.
Gave half my bowl of Laksa to KH, the hungry boy.
The CBE guys are really fun.
Pool session was the most entertaining and the 'event' which I enjoyed most during those 3 days.
With the crazy Diva, PF around, her sought after JH... manx... food was quickly digested.

~*~*~

Monday.
Finally bought that pair of Nike shoes that really caught my eyes.
There goes my 3 week's pay.
PF and I ate lots... Wanton Mee... Chee Cheong Fun... Mac's after that.
Too tired to shop.

Went home got my bag packed... could have leave much later.
But I just hate to stay home see her face before I leave.
Lust.Caution.
Nice movie. Don't mind watching it again.
Thanks XX,Serene and SH for accompanying me!

First time I needed the bus driver to wake me up when the bus reached Tampines interchange.
Fortunately my destination is the interchange.
Imagine if I had missed my stop...
I can't.
Sat and waited... for mum to knock off.
Those guys working at her work place are so young. Less than 24.
Supper at 1am plus.

Throughout the days.
Apart from going to the immigration to get a new passport, visiting my aunt and her new born and my brother.
Stayed at home all the time, watching videos and sleeping. Eating as well.
There is no reason that I have not grown fatter.

But I really love being HOME.
It is simply lazing around.
But I get to eat food cooked by my mum.
Hold her hands.

Sometimes I feel like I simply can't grow up.

Told my mum that I can't wait to go on oversea attachment.
To be away.
I admitted to her that I am naughty.
I grab every single opportunity to be out.
She understood.
She understood that I was trying to escape.
To escape from my aunt's control.

Mum asked if I have suitors.
She was happy that I have none.
Haha... some kind of mother huh?
But I understand that she knows I want to pursue my studies... and she's only motivating me.

~*~*~

Back yesterday.
First thing I did was to go out.
Just want to make full use of the last few days...
Shopped for 2hr alone at Daiso and PageOne.
I Love those books at Page One.
They sell such a large variety.
I'm going back there to explore one of these days.
Still hesitating if I should get that set of Chinese books that's on sales...
Next month it shall be.

Shopping with PF is fun...
apart from the fact that she'll put the dresses on me. =P
Yes yes.. Miss Diva. MORE shopping together!
I love that bag too... but really no point.
Thanks argh. Really.
No matter how tired you are.. you always accompany me.

Right now.. I'm stuck at home..
Hesitating if I should go out alone first not. Haiz.

Spoiler

2007-10-04T08:44:00.000+08:00

If you ever need to have your day ruined right from the start.
You can have my *ahem*

Super irritating person.
Who goes on nagging early in the the morning.
Says one thing and does another.
Thinks that she's the All-Mighty and Knows-it-all.

She was the one who asked me to go back in the first place.
When we could have gotten all the immigration things done here.
For what reasons, I have no idea.
What the he**!

Now, she's nagging for my mum to check everything out.
So that I won't get stuck back there.

Hello.
I thought you're very clever, for that's what you claim to be.
You can easily find out right????!!!!!

After all the hoo-haa,
You're telling me to do everything here!!!!!!!!!!!!
We could have just make that arrangement right from the beginning!
You're only saying this after you created so much inconvenience.

You're always like that.
Everything has to be done your way.
Just cause you think you're the Queen.

I'm already busy preparing for camp.
Just cause I have to do all these s**t for you before I leave.
My schedules, my plans get disrupted.
And you think by paying me is the best compensation.
I would rather you not pay me a single cent, let me do it when I really can.
Or you can easily find somebody outside to do it for you.
You're paying anyway!!!!!

CONTROL FREAK!

Feeling so super irritated now.
Everything is so messy.
I can't even have a proper rest!
Argh!
I just feel like slamming something right in front of her face!

Grow Up

2007-10-01T10:40:00.001+08:00

What is growing really all about?

Not doing things that you used to do anymore?
Losing the enthusiasms for certain things that seemed so important in the past?

But I can say for sure there's a part of me that has grown up.

Could have easily spent another $20 to buy another version of a CD that I already owned to obtain a ticket to an autograph session.
But I didn't do that.

Point 1: That's not the way to spend money.
Point 2: It doesn't seem that important to have an autographed CD.
Point 3: Supporting an artist does not necessary have to be in that earnest way.

As I stayed at home listening to the live telecast.
I no longer feel the cringe of not turning up, as I did in the past.

Funny.

But I'm still a kid.
You will know that when you see how obsessed I get when I see Tweety.
Bought another 2 Tweety shirts! Wee~

~*~*~

She said this:

She's so big already, she knows how to manage herself.

That is said in response to somebody who asked about my schoolwork.

But I seriously doubt that's the way she's thinking.

Happy Children's Day~