Went to hospital today...
Everything seems so familiar...
The same garden by the side, that one has to walk past all the time.
The same old corridor with the X-ray box making its rounds, along the track that lines the ceiling.
Ward 73... the ward that I used to go... the ward where he used to be in.
The same level as well...
Seeing uncle Seng is just like seeing my late father.
They resemble each other so much... so much so that I was a little frightened. Don't ask why. I have no idea. It simply scares me to see him looking like that.
But dad looked worse when he was ill. At least uncle Seng's illness is curable. Dad had terminal disease. It was a matter of time.
It hurts me so to go to this place again. Never did I expect that I'll have to go back to that place again. I don't hate the place. But it stirs the unhappiness that I had a lot of difficulty suppressing deep down inside.
I want to be back to where I used to be... The time when I knew nothing at all... It's impossible... It's the unthinkable.
I don't know what has gotten over me...
The loneliness has come back to keep me company.
I don't know since when He has occupied a large portion of my life.
He almost fills up every empty moment of my thoughts.
I have to do something about it... before matters get out of hand.
Things have to be like what they were before.
A simple relationship.
I think the problem lies with me... I'm the one who has got onto the wrong side of the path.
Someone please guide me back...
Yesterday, 19 June, Sat
Prefects' Convention organized by St Nick's n Cat High
Wanted to back out and go shopping instead. But that was when Jan and I had reached the side bus stop of St Nick's. No turning back now. Don't wanna tarnish our Prefectorial Board's reputations. There were so many Cat High participants. The 3 of us were separated. That's expected. Got warm up with my groupmates. Our facilitator is cute! Hahaha... that guy in my group can actually sleep when the toastmaster was giving her speech! Wanted to kick his chair. But didn't. I was sleepy too... The entire programme was successful especially considering the large scale Amazing Race that they planned. The grand debate turned out to be quite entertaining because everyone went out of point and the debaters seemed like they almost break out into a fight. One little thing that's not really well done is the ushering. Cedar has got good ushering. In fact much better. We never let guests grope their way round. Both organizing schools are super rich. St Nick's have their own drink; Life SpriNG and Cat High have their CH Jive. Cool right? Maybe Cedar should consider having our own drinks as well. Hopefully we can be granted permission to organize our own convention as well... But money will be the main concern...
'Who takes the child by the hand, takes the mother by the heart'
Three Men on a Plane
