Sunday, September 26, 2004
Over Confident
The more I think of it.
The more worried I get.
Somehow I was too confident of myself during the English papers.
I think I've written out of point for my English essay.
Haiz. Really careless of my to let my train of thoughts go as it like.
I went out of point. I think.
Argh. I don't wanna fail English.
I thought that I was original.
And that I have a chnace to score well.
Well. All that I can do now is keep my fingers crossed and pray hard.
And to try to forget about it and study hard for up-coming papers.
Good Luck everyone!
s e n s e d @ 5:51 PM
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Lost?
Late nights.
Piles of books here and there.
I don't know how long I can last before i *snap.
Been trying to pop myself with multi vits hoping that it'll work like drugs to keep me going.
I don't know if it really works.
The Five People You Meet In Heaven has set me thinking about the meanings of my life.
I have not really come up with one, except to Suffer.
But it says that 'No Life is a Waste. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking
we're alone.'
Nothing is really inside of me now except S-T-U-D-Y.
But I feel that the drive, the motivation to study is dying.
- Just like fire burning in a air tight container. The oxygen gets used up eventually.
- Machines running without oil. Gets stuck one day
- The battery that has been used for a long time. It just won't work some day.
Now that I've reached this point. I just pray that something will just happen to me.
To allow me to be motivated again.
It's tiring to see the same old unsatisfactory results again and again despite putting in all the hard work.
I don't know what I'm thinking. Maybe all the studying has cause me to lose my mind, myself.
Heaven can be found in the most likely corners.
s e n s e d @ 4:27 PM
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Stories
NO STORY SITS by itself.
Sometimes stories meet at corners and sometimes they cover one another
completely, like stones beneath a river.
s e n s e d @ 5:42 PM
No Regrets...
OBS is over.
I wonder if I will ever have the chance to attend another OBS course.
I guess it's a great course.
I got to explore lots of inner-strengths that I never knew that I possed.
Made great friends there as well.
Junko consisting of 15 members including myself.
The past 5 days had been worth it.
Had fun. Slept out there in the middle of nowhere.
Got to know Sui Hui better as well.
Found a 'lost friend' Jim [primary sch friend]
Manx. I'm really camp sick.
I miss Pulau Ubin.
I miss sleeping in tents that we pitch by ourselves.
I miss the outdoor food cooked in mass tins.
If there's a chance. I'll wanna try cooking rice using mass tin again.
I simply miss everyone who had been part of OBS, esp Junko.
This camp makes me miss ULP as well...
Haiz. Not many chance to attend camps anymore....
Left LTC camp, OAC camp, Prefects' Camp and Red Cross Annual Camp that's all.
Cried on the way back to Punggol jetty.
I don't know why. Partly because I was upset to leave. Also because good old days have come to an end, and here I am coming back to reality. It's scary when reality sets in. Facing all these. I'm so afraid that I cannot make it.
Was rather embarrassed to cry. But who cares. No one says I can't cry.
s e n s e d @ 3:39 PM
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Scared. Terrified. Taunted. Petrified.
OBS is just next week.
One week. In fact 5 days will just be GONElike that.
Where will I have the time to study?
To catch up with all the work that I have lagged behind?
I'm so afraid of doing badly for EYA.
Have so much homework to clear up before going...
In order to have some time to study for the tests that are held when school reopen.
Why can't we just not have EYA? Or rather exams...
s e n s e d @ 2:46 PM
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Tired of Life
Horrible thoughts have returned.
But really. Horrible they may be. But they are true.
I really need to find a way to do it.
I'm getting really tired of Life.
s e n s e d @ 10:52 PM
Crying will not help.
But Crying makes me feel better...
I can't help it but cry.
I can't imagine what I'm going to do when that day comes...
Life is too Long.
So long that I can't take it anymore.
I have enough of it.
Enough is Enough.
s e n s e d @ 10:40 PM
