Thursday, July 29, 2004
National Track & Field 2004
Jus a quick update on yesterday's National Track & Field Finals 2004.
The day didn't really start off well... Had to start it by having disputes with those monkeys...
Haiz... Managed to get part of the grand stand. But how dare they call us inefective leaders since we weren't early enough to mark our seats. They have no rights to call us that! Worst thing is they want to break our school into 2 blocks... In the end even let their gf school have it. Horrible people. All becuse of one person. The entire school has been in our black list. No more events of theirs. Not a single one. Even they EXCOs agreed. =) Think some of them knew that we hate them now. One of them even tried to be friendly at the end. But too bad.
The cheering was rather great. Don't now how to compare with last year. Cause last year we weren't in a enclosed area. Now that it's all in the open space. Guess the sound won't be that loud. But we were still the loudest. Couldn't hear SNG at all..
We weathered through the sun and the rain. Fortunately it wasn't as scorching as last year. Or else I would be burnt by now. But all that I've got is red cheeks. Cheering in the rain was great fun. Cedarians. I'm so proud of ourselves! We cheered even when in the downpour. We were the last to seek shelther. Did so only when the teachers forced us to... Manx. Was with Crys, Kate, YL n Val in the rain. Really fun. Heex... Never got so wet before. Wet. Dry. Wet. Dry. Dripping with water. But who cares! Sick or not. Let's just have fun! Was hoping to get sick. But I didn't...
One thing that I disliked about it was the collection of attendance. Really difficult as everyone sat anywhere they wanted to. But never mind. Just hope that all Cedarians had fun. Cheered their hearts out. Especially the Sec 1s to learn what the Cedar culture is like. ^_^
Haha... YL kept saying that Cedarians are very fierce after we fought with VS for not letting their banners covering ours... but who cares. We come first. Please be gentleman. At least the one who knocked into her was nice enough to apologize. ^_*
How nice next year's National Track n Field is still at the National Stadium...
The sea of Blue dominates...
s e n s e d @ 7:11 PM
Sunday, July 25, 2004
POC 2004
Another wonderful memory of the Red Cross. Specifically ULP.
Didn't want to go there alone. Didn't really know the way. Met ma'ams and went there together.
Saw so many familiar faces. The parade square where we had our joy and shed our tears...
First Foxtrot member I saw was Lutfi. Followed by Li Xuan. Long time later Jay Lloyd [cause he took the wrong bus]. He took super long to change as well. Cause 1st time wearing Red Cross Uniform. Hahaha.. he had a button missing on one of the pockets. Last one was Haashira.
We were made to watch the Link Talentime Finals. The kids so cute. 2 particular one can sing very well... How nice when I have my own kids, they have such talents as well.. Whatever it is. Health is the most important thing. Took a break and we went up stage to receive out Certs. Super scared that I fail. Vonne passed. What if I didn't? Wei Young, thanks for helping me to adjust my beret. Was quite taken aback by that action. =P Was the 8th to go up... As I was walking down stage, saw Eng Kee sir at the door. So nice of him to congratulate me. Thank you sir. I looked high and low but couldn't find anything that indicate if I've passed or not. Later than found out how that I've passed as I've got a Cert of Participation. Phew~ Didn't let anyone down. Dear squadmates, thanks for all the support! Took photo with Joan ma'am. As a group. But Foxtrot is still incomplete... Ma'am, thanks for the encouragement. That action you did very cute. ^_*
We ate together as a group in a corner near the stairs. I like the feeling that we're together once again. I don't know why... Poh Boon sir found us and congratulated us. Thank you sir.
It's a waste that Sec 4 ma'ams never stay for the informal section. Real fun. Fake campfire [which reminds me of my p5 camp] Games. Mass dance. Campfire songs. Performances. John sir can really dance! Thank you sir for teaching us the wonderful dance. How nice Vonne was there too... But it all ended too soon.... Thank you to the ma'ams who were mcees and all the ma'ams and sirs present as well... Sorry I can only remember Xin Yue ma'am. Echo, thanks for all the fun as well. Really got to know some of you better...
Hope to have more ULP 2004 gathering to come...
Later in the night when Vonne replied. Got to know that Jeremiah was sick. You arh... why always sick one? So weak. Take care!
Kor also... keep not feeling well... must take care arh... Exam coming le...
I had a great sleep...
We were hugging tightly...
I was crying in your chest...
It was all but just a dream...
s e n s e d @ 3:38 PM
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Brotherhood is a great movie.
Though violent, gruesome, bloody. But that makes it a realistic war movie I guess.
What makes me like this movie is the brother love inside.
War can really change many things...
Peoples' life, character etc, in this case the love that this 2 brothers had.
It's scary what one can do to gain fame, what one can do when he has the power and authority during such times. Somehow the true nature never change.
It will somehow be there.
Hidden.
It will be triggered off.
Jin Tae's love for his younger brother Jin Seok never changed. Though he was working hard for fame. Credit.
But it's all for his sake.
To get him home safely.
The saddest thing is that Jin Seok never get to understand that all his brother's doings were for him... The brother died as an unforgiven man...
I love this movie. Do watch it if you're eligible.
s e n s e d @ 10:45 AM
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
We have been ma'ams for four days... Since Saturday.
I don't know how the others feel, but I feel good each time my juniors greeted me.
I try to acknowledge them in a friendly manner. Jan was with me when E greeted me outside the home economics kitchen. I returned a 'Hi', and Jan was like saying that I shouldn't be so nice. Why shouldn't I? She told me to be strict. Hmmm... Don't think that I wanna do that right now. Not unless I had to resort to strictness.
It's kinda weird to be the in-charge now. Overlooking training sessions. Talking to Mdm Lum about training schedules, etc. It seems weird all because Sec 4 ma'ams are no longer attending any of these activities that we have. 'We are now all alone. The ma'ams are gone.', LJ. I miss them. But gathering and parting is part of life. We have to accept that.
Lots of tests are coming soon... Tests are scheduled all the way to week 8 if I'm not wrong. So overwhelming. I have no confidence in all the tests. Especially for Lit 12th Night and Chemistry. Guess I'm dead meat.
Right now the taste of blood still lingers in my throat. I don't know why. I've not eaten anything bloody. But the taste of blood just seem to be there since the very first second when I took the sheep heart out of the plastic bag. It's muscular. Firm. No wonder why one's emotion could be so strong, because the heart is strong. It has solid fats on it. Imagine those fats in your artery. No wonder you'll die. Poke our fingers into the artery, veins etc. and feel where it leads. It's pretty fun to cut the heart open and see the structure of it. Valves, heartstrings... The heartstrings are really strong. Even if you hold the thinnest one, it could bear the weight of the entire heart. Heex. Teacher said that I've cut very nicely. Hmmm.... Maybe I should consider being a surgeon. Aunt had told me to study to be a doctor. But nope. I'm not going to do that. I may go into medical field but not a doctor. Anyway it's still too early to talk about such things... No one knows the future...
XL asked me out to watch Brotherhood with her. Gladly I agreed. Have been longing to watch that. But aunt not interested, most friends not allowed to watch. Am really happy that she asked me to watch it with her. But I don't know how to ask for permission to go. I'll just go without letting her know. If I were to ask, she won't allow, unless it's after exam period.
I'm still pounding over how to tell her that I have to attend Sec 4 ma'ams POC, my CRD this Sat. It's from 1 to 8pm. So long. Furthermore it's till so late. Wonder how's the programme like. If only it's not so long then maybe it would be easier for me to get consent. Haiz... But hey! I get to see so many people who belonged to the happy momeries of ULP. Sadly those involved in NDP are not allowed to go. Voone is leaving me there alone...
I want more freedom...
s e n s e d @ 7:02 PM
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Truth
'Better to get hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie'
The Kite Runner
I hope that you're not toying with me...
Don't be so nice to me if you don't mean it...
I'm afraid to get hurt...
s e n s e d @ 7:36 PM
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Not Them
Live with it
Life's not over without it.
It's a decision made...
Follow your heart and stick with it.
Hold your stand...
The storm will be over eventually.
Even the darkest cloud has a silver lining
Your rainbow will come after the rain...
Don't be affected by what others say
You'll end up disappointing yourself,
Not them.
But yourself.
Convince yourself.
You know what you want.
They don't.
Believe in yourself.
Not them.
15 July 2004
0900
s e n s e d @ 11:05 AM
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Time to Wake Up...
In school right now...
Waiting for my dear Shuen Lin
She seems to be taking forever to come back.
But somehow I'm worse.
i'm doing nothing but
!Slacking
Why am I like that?
I seriously need to study...
With those upcoming tests.
Cannot afford to waste so much time.
But I can't bring myself to really sit down and
Have total concentrations in studying.
I need someone to motivate me I guess...
But WHO?
It's time for me to wake up...
s e n s e d @ 3:31 PM
Acceptance
I never knew about Life.
Even till today.
I never knew what is it really like to live
'Cause I've never really lived.
No one knows much about me.
Just like I don't understand myself.
Someone said: No one can accept you,
Unless you've learnt to accept yourself
Including the masked side of you.
I'm not omniscient,
Writer of my own story, am not.
Quotient to never knowing my true self.
Feel like a Failure?
Lost yourself?
Life still Goes On.
Whether you're accepted or not.
There's bound to be Somebody
Someone out there,
Who'll accept you for who you are
Regardless of how much you or that person know about yourself.
9th July 2004 22:00
s e n s e d @ 6:00 AM
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Come away, come away, death,
And in sad cypress let me be laid.
Fie away, fie away, breath!
I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, struck all with yew,
O prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true
Did share it.
Not a flower, not a flower sweet
On my black coffin let there be strewn.
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corpse, there my bones shall be thrown.
A thousand thousand sighs to save,
Lay me, O, where
Sad true lover never find my grave
To weep there Twelth Night [Act 2 Scene 4]
Find that part of the song that Feste sang very sad... I'm getting deeper in love with Twelve Night. But the Unrequited Love part is sometimes so maddening...
Haiz~ Still worried about that thing. Just a few more days to go... Hahaha, heard about the results. Congrats to those people.
Congrats to my dear Sec 2s as well. Well done! And thanks for the Kisses. Hmmm... saw in John sir's blog. Sengkang Sec got third. Not bad arh. Kinda surprised. Jay Lloyd must be happy.
Why are there so much problem one? Can they go shake their ears? Mary! It's nature instinct for living things to want the best for themselves. So we aren't at fault. I hope that her anger will be apeased. I hope everyone will just put themselves in others' shoes. Like I said. Not that you're not good. Just so happened there's someone out there who's better than you. Such thing will happen everywhere. No matter which part of the globe. So you have to learn to accept the fact that you're not as good. Having self confidence is good. A little proudness in you will do you good. But excessive of anything will destroy you. Sometimes even to the state beyond cure and recovery...
Met mum yesterday. She cut her hair. So cute. Hahah...
She told me that she's unhappy working there. Boss isn't nice. She's having insomia again. I don't know how to help her...
All that I can say is that no matter where you work. There's bound to be unsatisfactions. One has to bare with it...
She's short of money... But yet she still gave me $20. Sometimes I just wish that she'll stop giving me money and keep it for herself. But whenever I tell her not to give me. She gets kinda upset. Maybe she thinks that as a Mother. She never look after me and all that she can do is to give me a few dollars when she gets a chance to see me. Just that little she can give and yet her daughter is telling her to keep it for herself... So I'll just accept it. I never spend them anyway. I always keep them. All those money that she gave me...
I hope that her life will get better. But, maybe she'll have to wait for a long time. At least till I work... Maybe. I don't know. No one knows the future. Who knows I'll just die the next minute or hour after this post has been published...
Why do I keep thinking of tn*t p*rs0h?
s e n s e d @ 5:19 PM
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Went tuition yesterday and Wei Li happened to go for make up lesson as well. Went with her to shop a while after tuition. Hahaha... have fun looking at stuffs.. Yeah bought something i wanted to buy long ago... Broke already. Bought that and my brother's present. Bilabong wallet. Hope he'll like it. Heex. Wei Li, thanks for treating me egg tart! So generous and nice of you! ^_^
Received news that maybe having a bbq for ULP in Sept holidays. Yeah! I can't wait. Hahaha... Sir scare me when he joke to let me be chairman to organise. My own Prefects' bbq haven't even settle yet. But sir, I promised to help out. No worries on that. Sorry dear prefects. Will work out on the annual bbq date asap.
s e n s e d @ 3:33 PM
Friday, July 09, 2004
Kinda hate myself now...
Finally Chinese O level Oral Examinations is over.
Haiz~ But now I have to live till the after effect wear off.
Really hate myself because the passage is super easy and yet I cannot read properly.
Was so nervous that I stumbbled in so many parts of the passage. Some parts read quite well then thought I could continue with the flow but then there came the wave of fear that brought me down. All the way down. Till I read the sea bed.
I really don't know whats' the problem with me.
Forget it. Like I really can.
Walked out with Pei Ying... accompanied her to bus stop and decided to take train from Serangoon.
Stupid lah she. Play with my phone. Anyhow call somemore. Make me so embarrassed. Haiz.
Asked me to go her house. But kinda late. So didn't. Bound to have a chance in future...
Manx. I really hate myself.
Why am I so useless?
s e n s e d @ 4:35 PM
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
If you were gone. I'll look for you. I'll bring you back to into my life. I won't let you go in the first place.
Think I made a great mistake. One, for not studying hard enough. Two, for saying 'no' immediately. On second thought, I would have said 'Yes'. But it's too late.
Whatever that will belong to me will be mine. There's no use being regretful over it now. It's too late. All that I can do now is to work for the future. The future seems dark because it's too dazzling that I had to close my eyes...
Something that cheered me up (or should I say enlightened):
No matter what, there's only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Ever other sin is a variation of theft. When you kill a man, you steal his life. You steal his wife's right to a husband; rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness.
Quoted from:
The Kite Runner
Khaled Hosseini
s e n s e d @ 7:44 PM
Monday, July 05, 2004
Youth Day Holiday...
Hmmm... intended to study. But since it's a holiday. Maybe I should just slack for the morning... Not because I want to relax a little, also because my mind is so filled with something. That something keep occupying my thoughts... Even last night. I couldn't stop thinking. I don't know what's happening to me. Something's terribly wrong with me. And the key lies there. Is this a game or what? I never liked to play game... Get me out of this! Upoon hearing Ocean's Wu Wei Xiong, it gets worse... Haiz~
s e n s e d @ 9:48 AM
Sunday, July 04, 2004
Super irritated since yesterday. I was moody because she won't let me go for school's campfire night and by what she said last night though not to me. But felt much better after chatting with Andy. He called me cause we bumped into each other at Seng Kang mrt. Chatted for about an hour while I watched The Eye. Then talked to Pei Ying for a while. I thought what happened to her when she called as she cried. It's all because our seniors are passing out. I'm sad too. Almost cried during training. At least her's is passing out in August. Mine is next week. Man. I can't bear to let them go. Ma'am said that last year at this period was the most difficult time. I can understand that. I'm rather torn apart too. But somehow I know where my passion lies most. Ma'ams, believe what I said. I mean it. After that wrote ah kor's letter... Received Joan ma'am's message around 1 if I'm not wrong. Luckily I have till end of year to achieve another bronze to pass ULP. Haiz... Super scared that I'll end up with nothing at both sides. There's a possibility for that to happen. I can't be like her. She's great. I'll miss her lots. In fact, all of them. They are the best batch. I love them.
Still irritated with her today. Can't believe that she actually said that I got up on the wrong side of the bed today. I feel like telling her that she had gotten up at the wrong end. Complain so much that she had to do so many things in the morning. No body tell her to do. Can don't do if she wants. What really provoked is when she asked how come my school got campfire last night. Shut up lor! Don't want to let me go don't ask so much lah. Now then ask also no use. It's too late!! Arrgghhhh!!!! Super duper angry. Good thing aunty coming back this evening. I miss her so much...
Super confused right now...
s e n s e d @ 2:17 PM
Friday, July 02, 2004
Skipped A Math remedial to go J8 with my dearest squad mates...
Anyway not really skip is just that I'm trying to be extra. Not suppose to go yet wanna turn up. So it's good that I never go in the end. Maybe I did miss something...
Went to Mos for lunch. Hmmm.... yummy Unagi! Yichigo Bliss (Strawberry with white choc n milk) is LOVELY! Especially the one that Shuenlin gave me... haha... not only because it's from her, but because it's not so frozen. Simply Bliss. Heaven!
Hahaha.. talking about Shuenlin. Since school reopen have been with her almost everyday. Mon went tuition together, spent the entire afternoon together in delifrance. Wednesday walked out of school to have lunch then went tuition together. Thursday have lunch in school then went to Joo Seng warehouse to buy FBT shorts. Hahaha. Sat together at the steps of the industrial building. So fun. Friday, went to J8, she also went. Haha...
Ya, then on the way home on the bus. Saw this indian neighbour of mine. Same age as me. She used to be fat. Really fat. Not trying to be crude. But look at her now. She's so pretty!! Haiz. Me? No change. Maybe uglier...
Certain things in life really change..
But some just stay the way they are...
s e n s e d @ 10:49 PM
