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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I thought I've become a more positive person...
But no.
A person never changes that easily...

Feeling hopeless again...
Dejections.
Great sense of disappointments...

I just felt like letting myself sink into the comfort of darkness once again...
The bad habit of mine is once again returning...

But it's just too soon to give up now...
It's only the beginning...

But will the future be bright?
Will there be light to guide me through?

Already I'm facing such difficulty now..
What more in the future...

Same old Negative me

s e n s e d @ 10:02 PM



Sunday, May 21, 2006

19 May 2006, Fri
I say...
Hey.. eh.. Hey.. eh.. Hey eh Hey...
I say Hey!
What's going on?


It just suited that group of us so much..
As we stood at the roof-top of Esplanade,
Letting the breeze to sooth our faces,
Allowing the silence to rest between us.

How nice if that moment could just stay still.
How nice if things could just stay the way it was...

Despite the lateness of arrival.
Despite the embarrassment of asking for seven seats
and left after having a brownie in Billy Bombers...
Despite having dinner out in the open area of Cartel...
Despite all and all...

It was just great to be gathered again...
Though it wasn't complete.
Though it was just for that few short hours.
It was fun sharing food...
It seemed we'd created our very own dishes.

If only time can run backwards...
If only it we could go back to the past...

s e n s e d @ 8:01 PM



Friday, May 19, 2006

It's stupid...

I was actually overwhelmed by this sudden feeling of crying...
In the middle of school library...
After reading somebody's blog.

Somebody dear.

I don't know why,
I just have this feeling that I've been long forgotten.

Felicia, probably you'll understand why I suddenly cried.

I miss that someone so much...
It's just wishful thinking on my part...

Probably I just just forget about everything in the past..
Cause it just hurts...

The feeling of wanting to cry is still not gone...

How am I going to meet my dear excos like that...

s e n s e d @ 3:46 PM



Exercise Session 2
Christle, Felicia and I.

Running half way round the track and turning back to avoid the pro people seems funny...
It must have been a great joke for people who had seen us doing it. xP

3 rounds or slightly more.
An improvement from the previous session.
At least this time is full running and not walking.
On the way to a fitter body!

On the way to dinner...
Christle had been made the joke for being the 'thick' girl.
Felicia looked like a over-sized little girl...
Haha... Laughters... Filled the hills of NP...

I've concluded that we do have a nice school environment.
King Albert Park Mac Donald's is a very hip place.
Haven't been to such a big Mac's for a long time...
Service there wasn't too bad too!

Things are going on pretty well...
For now she never complain why I'm getting home late...
She even readily agreed to let me go dinner with my dear ex-EXCOs!
Pretty excited to meet all of them soon!!

Project groups are getting along better too.
Realised that sometimes first impressions aren't really that realiable.

s e n s e d @ 8:02 AM



Wednesday, May 17, 2006

On my way to Darkness...
About to lose myself again.

I have no idea how...
How I'm going to go about preparing
for yet another round of tests etc...
Things that marks count.

Finally talked to Val,
Knowing her recent condition makes me think about my near future -
Quizes that are going to take place in the next 2 weeks
Tests that are happening after that 2 weeks.

I'm Afraid.
Scared.
People here are so smart...
It's really not like what we used to think...

There's competition.
Strong Competition.

I feel so small and insignificant...
Stupid in fact.

Hopefully all these thoughts will be gone
Gone with the wind...

s e n s e d @ 9:54 PM



Had a wonderful start to the week.

Monday jogging was fun
though it was just about 3 rounds the track
and a few stations.

Could have spent more time working out...
All because of Pony.
Never mind, spent more time exploring the school's environment.

Went to Ulu-Pandang Bukit Timah Plaza. ^_^
Managed to find KFC after spotting a KFC staff.
We back track the person's trail...

Upon turning back...
Ta~Da~
There it is. Little KFC in a corner.

KFC in B.T.P rocks!
Bigger piece of chicken and polite manager
who helped us take photo with Mr K.

Went home late...
But I guess she'sletting go already...
I've sort of grown up after all...

s e n s e d @ 9:39 AM



Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mothers' Day...

Feeling kinda sad that Ididn't meet up with my mum... Guilty as well...
Suppose she would have been very happy if I'd gone to meet her.
Sorry...
I just didn't wanna disturb you while you are working.

What a weekend...
Had to keep reminding myself of the days due to Fri being a public holiday.

This Vesak Day just didn't really feel the same.
Probably cause didn't spend as much time waiting for my turn to bathe Buddha.
But there was still calmness...

Made use of most of the time to study...
That's what I planned...
Oh wells...
Guess I did sit in front of the book for long time... wasted time considering if I should start making notes...
Val, remember? Making notes is long term investment?
I miss you Val.
We haven't msg each other for a week already. At last that's what I feel. I think it's true.

Decided to make notes on the lines that comes with the slides on Cell Bio, and on small cards for OBC.
Always felt so tired... sleep a lot. Eat a lot. Fortunately I'm finally going to jog tomorrow after class... Exciting! Felicia! Dinner after that ok? Haha..
I wonder why I had three days and yet I can't revise all that had been taught to me.
I must really quit my old habbit of doing things slowly, reading every single detail...

Happy thing this Sat,
Watched Lee Hom on Shi Zhi Lu Kou! *^-^*
But irritating she dampen the mood by telling me to switch off the lights while watching TV.
Horrible thing to do! Especially when I feel that my eyesight is failing...
What a way to save electricity.. at the expense of health.
She should really reeducate herself on the proper way of living and being thrifty...

Fat and Lazy is how I feel...
Trying to work hard for yet another miracle...

s e n s e d @ 9:22 PM



Saturday, May 13, 2006

How do you define Bravery?

In my context,
It's not whether you dare to take extra portions of free things given to you

Such is not an act of Bravery.

But somehow, it is so in Her context.

Yeah.
In her view, I'm a coward.
Someone who's an angle to people outside and a nasty devil to those at home.

There is really something wrong about her morale values and mentality.

s e n s e d @ 1:07 AM



Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Blogging in class...
Having break... I wonder how long it'll last.
Hmmm... a sudden break it is.
Probably cause he's fed up?
I suppose he thinks that we're a bunch of crazy students, cracking our own jokes.
Just like the one next to me... Felicia Nah
And the one beside... Christle..but not the other one, who's the fourth in the row..Shu Jun.

Somehow being insane works better for lessons like this... ^-^

Poor Teddy Bear

s e n s e d @ 3:36 PM



Sunday, May 07, 2006

060506 - The First Church Wedding

The very first church wedding - Roy and Aivey ( my cousin and cousin-in-law)
I felt silly that I couldn't hold my tears back...
Probably I was touched for there's no reason for me to feel sad or anything since I was never that close to this cousin of mine though he had been rather nice to me at times.

It wasn't such a boring ceremony after all as it was a rather light hearted one with all the jokes cracked by the pastor.
Church wedding wasn't what I used to think to be after all and definitely not like those usually shown on dramas as well.
But it sure was a blissful scene like those projected on dramas...

Somehow I'm beginning to have this thought that most girls will have - marrying the Right One is such a blissful thing. *^_^* (blush)

Oh wells... Let things takes its course...

Everything that's meant to be will be.

Dinner was great.
Intercontinental Hotel
Dressed up and everything... almost similar to attending my prom night. bleah =p
Don't know why... but just felt very sleepy throughout. -_-ZzZzz
Drank beer and red wine.
Funny I'm still not drank.
Just getting very sleepy...

One thing that I was once again convinced is that marriage is a very Blissful thing.
and I wish both the newly wed remain happily married till death do they part.
I'm very sure that will happen since they have made such a vow to God, especially since they are devoted Christian.

So many children around... What a wonderful sight cause they just make you feel so happy.
Heex. I got to carry a very handsome baby nephew of mine. !^_^!


A truth made known - All brides are Beautiful.

s e n s e d @ 12:23 AM



Friday, May 05, 2006

Somehow I'm begining to believe in having a positive mindset.
Things may seem terrible but things always turn out unexpectedly...

Laptop break down disallowed me to do research on Friday.
Gan joing me was simply in the dump.

Really wanted to start on the research despite having group mates who weren't willing to start.
Oh wells.. it seems it was fated that I cannot start without them.

It was really a blessing in disguise!

Fortunately I wasn't allowed to start on the research, cause I had a change of group in the end!!!
Never mind if their intention was to have a group to thier liking, I was happy too!
Though F was angry at them for treating me like that...

But never mind!
I'm somehow convinced that things always change...
And they change for the better... =)

Tuesday was a super LOVELY Day!

On top of having a change of group to people whom I get along better...
I was going to meet Valerie!!! Yeah!

Bus 74 to AMK.
On the way to Mountain Ocean Sun Burger to have lunch alone...
As I was walking along the place outside the mrt station...
A dark figure loom over me...
Out stretch the hand and around my shoulder it went...

Little did I expect it to be my Mum!!!
Yeah!!! Got a little kiss from her and she rushed off for interview.
Sadly. Was hoping that we could have lunch with her.
But never mind,
It was good enough to have met each other along the way.

Lunched and did my work...

It was a great thing to dine with Valeire.. back in Kovan,
The long missed place...

All I can say that it was such a lovely day....
That flowers seem to bloom everywhere...
!^_^!

s e n s e d @ 8:55 AM



Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Life can really make you go through it's Hell and Peak within a short time.

Laptop threw it first tantrum on Fri morning.
Panick overwhelmed me.
But somehow I was able to put it aside and concentrate on my IS modules classes.

Frustrations grew.
On top of those that surfaced when I couldn't get my group members to start on the research.
Felt totally rotten.

What lousy on-site service centre is that?
No software support when they are there wearing the company's logo.
ARahh~

What a nice way to be treated when I should be helped and not reprimanded at?
You think I expected my laptop to corrupt on this fateful day?
You think a person has nothing better to do bringing his external disc drive when there isn't a need for it?

I'm never going back there for help.
But Cheers to those helpful ones in SoE.
Though it wasn't fixed, but I'm deeply appreciative of what efforts that had been put in.

That was my horrible Friday.
But things were better when you had someone there for you.
Thanks F, you listened to my grivences...

Terribly moody.
Went home feeling dejected.
Took a super long time to get home...

Why did she think that I'll be happy when my laptop break down?
Why is it that she think I don't take care of it?
Little did she know how much importance I've deemed it to be.

Can't be helped.
Cried after she used that irritating accusive tone saying that I 'anyhow load things'
*****

Had to go all the way to Jurong East to get it serviced.
Somehow I really didn't have to mood to go see Lee Hom.
And I kept thinking if it was not fixed before I go see him, I'll really have no mood.

Thank goodness!
Got it fixed.
They didn't even need half and hour, ten minutes of so was all that person who helped me needed. =)

Took a super long bus ride of about one and a half hour home for lunch, rest my baby and set of to where I came home from again.
Returned via a super long bus ride again.
Somehow long bus rides are a nice thing, I'm sure Val will agree with me.

Waited for XH and we'll get to see him soon!

Super Handsome Lee Hom.

My first event to see stars.

Nervous, High.... adrenaline gushing.
I had risen to the Peak! From Down bellow...

No nervousness when getting nearer to shake his hand.
Probably cause I was busy trying to capture a close up picture.

No nervousness when shaking hand with him.
It just felt like we've known each other.
Very comfortable.

He was so sincere, making eye contact, as if he might see through me.
and there he goes, A Charming Smile... awww....
Short lived moment, but good enough to send me soaring through the clouds.

That was how I experienced darkness of hell and rays of paradise... all within a short period of time...

Life sure works in a magical way doesn't it?

s e n s e d @ 1:37 AM