Friday, March 25, 2005
Leaders' Investiture 2005
Last investiture. Probably the last in my life as well.
Badge presentation ceremony...
Felt so super extra for the second entrance.
I shouldn't have stand there should I?
I see no point for me to stand there anyway.
If I knew that was to happen.
I would rather stand somewhere higher, have my face blocked...
Haiz. Guess some of you know what happened.
I'm sorry that I've let my facial expression showed everything.
I'm sorry that I've reacted in that manner, which is not a right way to respond.
But I'm sure that if you were me. You would have reacted the same way as I did.
Or even worse..
Well. Let's not talk about it anymore.
All that I'm gald is that I've put in my best for the performance.
Reception of guests.
All was fine, just that I'm not a very sociable person.
Sorry to those whom I entertained.
To think of it. I really don't understand the way guys of our age behave.
They aren't guys at all.
What I mean is that... I think you all know what I'm trying to say.
Older guys are still better. Haha.
But no doubt. They are really funny. Barkley?
It indeed was a 'memorable' investiture.
s e n s e d @ 1:28 PM
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Woho!
School's reopening soon...
Seriously I'm getting VERY stressed up.
While I was asleep last night, I thought that I was going to school today.
I thought that school reopens today and that today is a Thursday.
School aside.
Something's terribly wrong with me.
Suddenly felt sad last night as I made my way back home from tuition.
I'm sorry, but I had to admit that I was rather ****ed with you.
I didn't want to take your call.
Now I understand what people are talking about when they say that you go through friendship problem at this point of time.
M's got P.
L's got An.
V's got Li.
Who have I got?
None.
I don't know who have I got that I can really share my problems with.
But that's how I feel...
EMPTY WITHIN
s e n s e d @ 9:54 AM
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I can't help but but be fuming mad about her.
Her looks makes me angry.
Her words provoke me.
Everything about her never fails to anger me.
She's so irrritating!
I'm not even allowd to go to school on holidays.
Unless for lessons, I guess.
Not for meeting, not for doing homework with friends.
Nothing of these.
All I'm as to stay at home and study, study and do nothing but study.
I've got no life.
Not because I choose to.
But forced to!
I really wished I could stay young.
At that age that I will not long for freedom.
At that age that whatever an adult tells me to do, I'll just follow.
But it's impossible.
I wished she could stop treating me like a small kid since it's impossible for me to remain as one.
Allow me to make my own decisions.
Allow me to 'take things in my own hands'
as she said that '[I'm] taking too many things in [my] hands'
Look! Please open your eyes and look!!!!
I'm not that young anymore.
I'm asking you to let me make small decisions of things that I do in school and not decisions like getting a boyfriend or whatever.
Can't you at lease grant me that minute amount of freedom?
I really don't understand what you're trying to do to me.
Torture me?
I wished it was physical instead...
I lead a miserable life...
All because of her.
s e n s e d @ 12:12 PM
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
I'm getting all stressed up and tired out...
I've stopped watching TV completely, even my favourite anime.
Not even recording and saving them for free time.
Term 1 ending. Term 2 coming.
Mid year coming.
At the rate that I'm studying.
I doubt I can make it.
I seem to know nothing at all.
Forgot everything single thing taught to me last year.
Tell me how am I going to cope?
Am I going to fail all the way?
I think so...
I've almost stopped talking at home,
Unless spoken to.
I son't know what I will become as the days draw nearer...
Maybe I'll become a mute at home.
I don't know.
No one knows what lies beneath and in the future.
s e n s e d @ 4:44 PM
Thursday, March 03, 2005
I guess she sense that I'm gloomy over my tests.
Well at least she was the one who started to ask first.
I told her.
She accepted it well.
But it will be a different story when progress report comes.
I dread it.
s e n s e d @ 6:47 PM
030305
Happy Birthday to both juniors
Evelyn and Charis
Edith (a schoolmate that I happen to know but not close)
& lastly to myself.
Birthday was much happier last year. I'm not sure why.
Maybe cause there were a couple of my dears who sort of forgot but it's okay.
I understand.
Everyone's busy with studies, stressed over O Level especially when our seniors didn't do well.
Partly also because I myself haven't been very happy lately.
Feeling stressed up and stuff like that over studies.
My studies is really bad.
Fail and Fail and Fail.
Tell me, what can I do?
I've done my part. I studied hard. Practiced hard. But what do I get in return? Failure.
Well at least I still did well for Express Chinese 'O's.
What have I got this year?
*Mango cake ( from a junior, who knows who she is) [ It taste lovely! And look really cute]
*A beany Mr. Bean bear (from Wan Ping and Jia Yuan!) [Heex. Some people will understand why I'm super happy over this]
*A beautiful heart shape strawberry chocolate moose cake (from my dearest squad mates ^_^) [SO LOVELY! Thanks thanks. I LOVE YOU all!]
* A converse sling bag through post. [Practical]
* Gold plated Bear shape light catcher [from Cora] (so cute!)
*Silver Bracelet from moshi moshi [from aunt and uncle] (quite nice but quite big)
* $30 (from uncle)
* Tweety Bird bed sheet and $50 (from Mummy!!) [So cute lah... buy my favourite cartoon bed sheet]
MILLION BIG THANKS FOR ALL THESE!!
17... yet still a mummy's girl.
.: Gloomy bday:.
s e n s e d @ 6:37 PM
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Cried in school today.
After school.
Outside 4O classroom.
Against the wall.
Near the windows.
In front of Jessica.
I bet I looked stupid.
Had been feeling wanting to cry the entire day. Also don't know why.
Maybe cause I flanked e math again.
Underlying factor: the frequent mention of O level.
I really have no confidence in myself at all.
I never seem to do well no matter how hard I tried...
Fancy me crying the day before my big day.
I still have a mountain of work to clear.
All thanks to who? The school.
Stressed Up. Tired Out.
She's so super irritating.
Can't she just shut up and stop praising others of their seemingly good L1R5.
I vow to do better than 12.
I'm aiming for less than 10. Preferably a 6.
But it seem impossible.
.:Gloomy:.
s e n s e d @ 6:33 PM
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
OAC 2005
nothing much to say.
I really wonder why was I being placed in maintenance?
I grew as a person in this camp.
Learnt lots of first aid.
Learnt how to overcome my disgust.
I just hope that those people in camp will appreciate what we did.
This will be the last time I'm saying it.
My ENTIRE department SCOOPED shit water out of the toilet bowl and DUG shit out of it in order to get the toilet in working conditions as they were chocked up by the campers.
I'm sorry that I cried after that. I never thought that I had to do this in my life, of clearing people's shit.
Sorry to make you guys do it with me.
But i'm sure it'll be memorable for all the 5 of us.
ACPY stop reminding me of this incident.
s e n s e d @ 6:49 PM
