Saturday, April 30, 2005
Would you believe if a guy tell you that he likes you...
and that person is someone whom you've never met...
I can't believe.
I wouldn't.
It's ridiculous.
Feeling kinda lonely...
Studying all alone.
waiting for you to come online.
s e n s e d @ 3:50 PM
I see him in You...
Because you both share the same horoscope.
I see him in Him...
The way he was like when he was so sick.
I don't like to be reminded of him.
Although I do Miss Him.
The suffering that he had gone through.
The way he had mourned in pain.
The odd look on his face.
They way he looked like he was floating instead of walking.
Now it's my uncle's turn.
Every little thing of him reminds me of Him.
It's scary.
I don't like to go through such things over again for the third time.
My maid realized that after the death of each one.
Within 3 years.
Someone will fall terribly ill.
I don't dare to think about it in depth.
Because I hate it.
Why must it always be like that?
I guess that is why I hate it and will cry whenever I hear about' partings' in life.
There have been too many permanent parting of my loved ones in my life.
So You stupid idiot.
Stop making me cry!
_____________________________________________________________
<someoneconcerned>: whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you cant, your absolutely right -henry ford-
<someoneconcerned>: study hard .play hard. dun starve urself. there r many things waitin for u to do.. to try out.. U SURELY CAN CONQUER MATHS!! Dun b scared of it!!
Thanks to you! Care to let me know who you are?
Indeed there are many things to do... but... haiz. I don't know how to say what I really feel.
I really hope that I can not only conquer maths... but also the rest of my subjects!!
______________________________________________________________
Sorry but to tell you all that I've not eaten anything since last night again. Even drank orange juice with empty stomach.
My world is really turning upside down.
Don't know what's really wrong with my uncle.
Sick for a year already.
Never got better.
Aunt having mood swings.
Fortunately not at me though.
The other uncle as well..
Flaring up so easily.
Lastly myself.
All the crazy eating pattern.
Or should I say there's no pattern at all.
Should be studying and yet always have the urge to voice everything out.
Having so many crazy friends suddenly...
Hahahaha.... Send me to wood bridge man...
s e n s e d @ 9:42 AM
Friday, April 29, 2005
DISCLAIMER:
I know many of you who read my blog (many whom I never knew!) are wondering if my 'meter' is fluctuating...
Hahaha... it was some time ago. But it's back to the normal already! Hahhaa...
Bu yao luan luan xiang!!
It's just mutual attractions I guess.
Just like you'll be attracted to a good looking guy that you see on the street like that.. Yup.
_________________________________________________________________
I really don't know what I'm doing also lah...
Exam period still online updating my blog etc...
Useless me.
Now what time already (8pm) still haven't eaten...
I know there's a couple of you who wanna kill me already...
Don't worry Vonne. You'll still be able to see me.. cause we're one of a kind soon... hahha.. but I can never be termed as skinny i think. Cause I'm not!
XinYing. Thanks for all your encouragements!! You're such a wonderful friend.. although we're not close.
Aricca... I hope that you're coping well... My best wishes to you.. I look forward to your return.
Sasha, where to get gums?? Hahaha...
Argh!!!
Must study!!
I'm so scared of maths!! How??
Manx. How I envy you 4C people being able to keep your cool and stay back to chit chat in school esp when it's exam period! It's good to keep your cool... You people rock!
s e n s e d @ 7:57 PM
Thursday, April 28, 2005
I love it when we held fingers...
Walking on the narrow road...
Against the on coming vehicals.
Singing songs.
With your white bag banging me occassionally.
We looked crazy.
I felt that we're mad.
But it's ok.
I feel happiness deep within.
The emptiness was filled for that very moment.
(I guess you know who you are, darling)
PS: This darling is my dear girl ok? ppl don't think too much. Haha...
You're so cute.
Ni hen xiao hai zi chi. (you're very child like)
Zhong xi huan fa pi chi (like to throw tantrums)
But that's what and who you are.
But it's really hard for me to be stuck between the two of you..
Vivoo... you're a nice person.
I realized.
A concerned friend you are.
Tau Hua is Loveellyyy!!
So white. So smooth!
Jieming we should eat tau hua next time...
since it's filling.. yet healthy.. not that expensive too!
I don't care what my friends think about my other friends,
since they are from two different world.
Though I have no idea how I have crossed over to the other world as well...
They are still nice people.
Nice friends.
I don't care what people say of you all...
You all are still friends who I treasure.
s e n s e d @ 7:06 PM
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Haven't been in the right state of mind lately.
All the exam stress...
All around me is nothing but madness...
I'm going mad. crazy. cranky. insane.
I guess I'm not the only one...
Most of the Sec 4s are! haha
________________________________________________________
<3 Elyssa: I can tell you to don't hate yourself, but pardon me. I can't help it. Will get over it soon. No worries for me... how can I let a junior worry for me? I wanna see your smile everyday, cute squirrel!
<3 Soppy: Don't pretend that you don't know who. You know who that person is ok. Anyway I love you too... Manx. Soon I'll be so in love with you that nothing will stop ne from loving you.. hahaha... Thanks... I really need someone to be there for me... you never know how lonely i am..
<3 Shuen Lin: I'll try to eat all my meals. But all i can promise is to try! Eating things that I don't like can sometime be really annoying esp when I'm super not in the right state. Anyway, it's really great to have you as a friend. Thanks for all the reassurance.
_________________________________________________________
In the jungle, the mighty jungle...the lion seems to roar... didong didong didong...
(haha... Sui Hui! I love to see you sing it!!)
Wohoo.... CRANKY, CRAZY,MAD, INSANE, LUNATIC, LUNNY,OUT OF MY MIND... on the eve of the start of examx... There's nothing but Madness in this world!
s e n s e d @ 7:15 PM
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Just as I was getting out of the pitch darkness... I've plunged deeper in.
Surrounded with nothing but darkness...
There's no light, no nothing at all...
I've done it once again.
Congrats to myself.
I never seem to do well, no matter how hard I studied.
Why?
You all always tell me that my hard work will pay off.
Look! Is this what I should get in return?
I really don't understand.
Seriously,
I hate myself.
I really do.
I've finally found a way to keep myself awake and study.
Deprive your body of food.
Study till you don't feel like eating.
Don't eat at all. Eat just a little.
Your body and mind will be kept in a super alert state.
You don't even need much sleep.
Will tell you how long it can last once I've proven it.
It's the second day already...
I'm tired. I really am.
Tell me what to do.
I don't have any more hope.
No more hopes.
s e n s e d @ 4:34 PM
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Tell me how...
You make me so confused.
You make me so lost.
This shouldn't be the way things should turn out...
It's wrong.
But you're just too attractive...
My heart raced for you.
But do you feel the same?
I doubt that I'll ever know...
This is stupid lah... Also don't know what am I typing already.
I really don't know what's wrong with me... feeling this way...
Especially with exams round the corner. Haiz.
I hope things will just stay the way it is...
Nothing more. Nothing less.
I like it this way.
I dreamt of you for the second time.
You were there to give me your hand when I fell down...
You were there to accompany me when I was all alone...
s e n s e d @ 10:41 AM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Why are there so many of you who are so cute?
Haha... I hope I'm still normal.
But I just can't help thinking that you people are cute!
But...
Why is it that the two of you make me so lost.
Especially you.
Soppy I Love You. You're such a sweetie.
You can love me as a girl even if I can't become a guy! Haha...
Man. I can still remember how Nutella looks like!
Jieming. Stop being such a rubbish! Teaching me so much crap when we're going tuition together. But thanks for the entertainment and company though. You're funny.
*Please soursop is not Soppy and it's not meant to be sour!
I think I'm going CRAZY.
s e n s e d @ 7:34 PM
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Seriously it doesn't pay to be consultative.
Look what happen if you allow them to have a say.
They take you for granted.
But if you don't do that.
They say you're dictative.
What is this?
Heck.
Vonne.
We do what we think is right.
I'll always support.
You settle teacher side.
I settle squadmate side.
Settle?
Don't so sad.
We're out of this shit soon...
Specially dedicated to you... My dear Vonne.
s e n s e d @ 7:08 PM
Friday.
Meet the parent session. or rather meet the guardian session for me.
First time that I really attend it with her side by side. I don't really like it.
Firstly cause I wasn't feeling well... secondly I'm just not comfortable.
I don't understand why is it that she insisted on seeing my form teacher not just the teacher that I have choosen.
Felt so stupid. Couldn't hold back my tears in front of M.F.
Also the first time seeing teacher, hearing a teacher comment on me, in her presence.
M.F had been kind. Didn't talk bad about me. In fact she did praise me a little. But it's a fact that my maths are really bad. NVM. I'm WORKING HARD ON IT.
Hope it will pay off.
The only comfort is that I was sitting next to Sop.
So envious of her and her mum. I wish I could attend it with my mum too.
Shouldn't have seen M.F0. But there was nothing bad about me for her to say.
Last but not least. She finally went to see the teacher I have choosen. M.T.
M.T told her not to worry about me. She sang praises about me. Told I'm her rep. And she got worried. Asked me what a rep does. Haiz.
Generally I guess I'm a rather obedient student.
But I'm really ashamed of my class.
4M. Please improve. Prove the teachers and M.L wrong!
Vivoo is so sweet. SMS me to tell me to rest well over the weekend. Thanks vivoo!! That's really very thoughtful of you!
She gave me a mango!! So cute lah... Though she never told me why she gave it to me istead of other people. But thanks Jieming!
Long week to go... yet time flies. Haiz.
Everybody esp sec 4s please work hard!! Lets all work hard.
MYE is near. I haven't started on a single thing. how??? tell me how???
s e n s e d @ 6:52 PM
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
"Love at First Sight"
by Wislawa Szymborska
[Orginal Version]
THEY'RE BOTH CONVINCED
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still
Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways—
perhaps they've passed each other a million times?
I want to ask themif they don't remember—
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number" caught in the receiver?
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember
They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.
Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close,
drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.
There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps three years agoor just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?
There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another beforehand.
Suitcases checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream,grown hazy by morning.
Every beginningis only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.
_______________________________________________________________
from View with a Grain of Sand: Selected Poems, translated from the Polish by Stanislaw Baranczak and Clare Cavanagh. Published by and copyright © 1995 by Harcourt Brace & Company. Love at First Sight was originally published in 1993 in The End and the Beginning.
s e n s e d @ 8:37 PM
Monday, April 04, 2005
Love at First Sight
by Wislawa Szymborska
They both thought
that a sudden feeling had united them
This certainty is beautiful,
Even more beautiful than uncertainty.
They thought they didn't know each other,
nothing had ever happened between them,
These streets, these stairs, this corridors,
Where they could have met so long ago?
I would like to ask them,if they can remember -
perhaps in a revolving doorface to face one day?
A "sorry" in the crowd?
"Wrong number" on the 'phone?
- but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.
How surprised they would be
For such a long time already
Fate has been playing with them.
Not quite yet readyto change into destiny,
which brings them nearer and yet further,
cutting their pathand stifling a laugh,escaping ever further;
There were signs, indications,
undecipherable, what does in matter.
Three years ago,
perhapsor even last Tuesday,
this leaf flyingfrom one shoulder to another?
Something lost and gathered.
Who knows, perhaps a ball alreadyin the bushes, in childhood?
There were handles, door bells,where,
on the trace of a hand,
another hand was placed;
suitcases next to one another in the left luggage.
And maybe one night
the same dream forgotten on walking;
But every beginning
is only a continuation
and the book of fate is
always open in the middle.
s e n s e d @ 4:19 PM
