Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I finally got the jacket..
That I've long for for years...
Thanks Val, for accompanying me.
Not much feeling though.
Don't know why...
I just hope that it'll give me all the comfort that I need...
Shopping at Orchard.
Ha. So many 'checkpoints' and 'destinations'.
Shifted my entire block of time-table.
Thanks to M.Y's advice...
If not I'll be so dead.
Feeling kinda tired..
Sleepy but can't sleep.
The same old problem is back.
So wonderful...
I got stabbed in the heart...
s e n s e d @ 6:01 PM
Monday, May 30, 2005
The Keys to Your Heart |
| You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. |
| In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
| You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
| You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
| Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
| Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
| You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
| In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now. |
s e n s e d @ 1:22 PM
. : Replies : .
val, nyaa, sure can complete one. You bring your cip card. I help you see. You must take care too ya? Manx. I'm so excited about Wed that I couldn't wait to go out today instead... =P But cannot. Must practice self control and self discipline...
SOPHINA, awww~~~ don't melt... or you'll evaporate away and I'll lose you forever. I don't want that to happen. You take care ya darling? Haiz. Hols. Can't see you!!
yvonne, heex. thanks. I'll study hard! I will!!! I have faith in out cadets! Cause they are good.. ha. But not as good as us. =P
NXY, diao~ haha... it's good that there are still things that makes you happen. Not like there isn't any materials that makes me happy... I'm not that wei da. Hahaha.. cute la you.. new pencil case can give you so much motivation. Ji You then. Hope to see ya at tuition.
malita, you forgot to leave your link again... or you don't want to give me. =( ha. thanks. I'll jia you for prelims.
...........................................................................................................................................
I wonder how the chinese had gone for you all...
s e n s e d @ 12:54 PM
Argh!!!
I don't know what's the problem with me...
Can't seem to really sit down for long to study.
Max 1 hour. Used to be able to study for a much longer time...
I need that discipline back!!!
Why? You tell me why?
Why are you giving me that cold treatment.
Have I done anything wrong.. or anything to irritate you?
I'm sorry if I had.
I didn't mean to...
s e n s e d @ 12:47 PM
Saturday, May 28, 2005
*~Replies~*
bter, remember that I love you too! Hopefully I've made your world a better place, just like the way you had to my world. ^_^ Don't forget to try to be a good girl ya. That's what you pledged.
Don't worry, I'll take good care. So that I can take care of people around me. You must also take care ya? Though life sucks.. life still goes on.
NXY, what do you think really makes people happy now? The happiness that materials brings are just so superficial and often the happiness that comes with it is empty. Ha. I guess it's the emotional fulfillment that really makes one happy. But how many people are acutally happy emotionally? Somehow I think it all boils down to one's attitude. If one is easily contented... life could have been better for him/her. Ha. I don't know what crap I'm talking about. =P But personally, seeing my friends happy somehow makes me happy too! Esp so it I'm the one who make them happy.
siewting, haha.. sorry I do't really understand the second part of that chinese quote... tell me when we meet up, yea? Hahaha.. Hey it's good that you don't judge 'people' by their outlooks.. I'm refering to Patrick. Hahah
SOPHINA, I believe you. I really do. Just worried about you. You must take good care. Don't forget that there's still me who'll be there for you if you ever need me. I hope to be your guiding light when you're lost.. and guide you back to where the world is filled with beautiful things.. no more darkness..
feliciaaa, haha.. ok! I'll try not to be hard on myself... but isn't studying hard being hard on ourselves? Hmm... I wonder. Ha. Don't worry! I'll make full use of this hols... to STUDY!! PRELIMS is NEAR!! Arrghhh!!! Scary!
s e n s e d @ 11:01 AM
Last Day of school.
Long talk.
The things went in.
The guilt came along.
Did I really study enough? No.
Do I have the confidence that I'll make it in the end? I'm not sure.
I felt so bad that we had to make the school do things to this entent.
I haven't tried my best. I'm sorry.
Promise to do my best...
Procrastination shall no longer be my friend.
Second day of going out with Yvonne.
First day went to shop for err.. the 3 of them.
Ha. Wen got so bored I guess.
It's really no joke trying to write on a 2.7 inch soy sauce suacer.
Ha. But it's rather fun.
Hope they like it though... as a form of encouragement.
Hope they do well and survive it.
Back to yesterday.
Went our with Vonne, Hua after depositing my stuffs at home.
Went to Bugis.
Yeay! Finally got to try Ice Monster.
So NICE!! Mango!!! Lovelyyy...
Walked at OG, went to Bugis street.. met up with Si then went to Bugis.
Supposed to be a walk walk around thing... but ended up on a mission. Ha.
Manx. How I wish we could go back and work on the jigsaw now...
So cute la!! So fun doing it!
Ate part of the dinner on the bus...
Took bus from the wrong direction... ended up getting down at Esplanade.
Took mrt instead. Ha. So dumb.
First Guides' Campfire that I've attended.
Congrats to all the Sec 4 Guides!!!
You were all SO SUPER DUPER GOOD!!!
So good that I don't know how to describe.
Ha. Hui Yan's specs so cool!
Em's dancing so attitude and energised.
Big Baby Wan Ru so cute.
On the whole... I love the attitude that you all had while dancing.
AAArrrggghhhhh!!!
I really wish that hols is not here...
s e n s e d @ 10:45 AM
Entry that's supposed to be made on 24May
I've reliased that the pain that I feel for you all are not as simple as what I thought them to be.
It isn't the physical torture that you all put yourself through.
But the feeling of the pain you all have within you...
Those emotional pain are worse than anything...
They are so strong that even I felt it.
Maybe cause I'm too sensative. I don't know.
Nothing can be worse than being haunted by your own conscience, yourself.
I don't think I can help... except to lend you a listening year and a shoulder to cry on.
But somehow I guess you people are stronger than me...
cause in the end I was the one who cried.
So dumb right?
Some people told me that it's no point getting so upset and affected by it.
But you all are my friends...
Close or not that close...
I'll still feel the same to everyone if I ever know that they are upset. Especially over such things.
Now I know how S feels when I was so wrapped up in myself.
Not allowing him/her to help.
It really hurts.
But I won't probe into it.
I don't wish to add more misery.
But believe me when I told you that if you ever need someone and find none.
I'll be that someone.
It applies to all of you...
s e n s e d @ 10:22 AM
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Please... I want none of you to torture yourself.
Not you Sop. (by drowning yourself in sadness)
Not you Bter. (by skipping so many meals n staying up to do art)
Not you Awjieming. (by staying up to study)
Not you Valerie. (by being so down)
Not anyone of my friends...
It hurts me so to see you all like that.
Somehow I wished that I'm the only one suffering...
So that you all can be very happy!
If only that is possible.
Please cheer up my dear Soppy. I really miss your happy face.
As for you Valerie.
All changes are inevitable. They are there for a purpose. Neither bad nor good.
Bter argh bter... it's only natural for her to expect you to abide to all rules... chills... see what a bad head of discipline I've become... if you don't wanna do it for her.. at least try for my sake? Smiles`!!
How I wish that the world will be a happier place for all of us!
s e n s e d @ 6:50 PM
Monday, May 23, 2005
bter, you never fail to be soooo super sweet!!! :) So filled with love.
s e n s e d @ 1:22 PM
I guess she's not going to speak to me for some time..
It wouldn't be a problem for me... for I've decided that the best thing to do is to be a mute at home... at least to be one when she's home.
No favouritism will be shown.
Is that what she want me to do?
For she never gave me an answer when I asked her what is it that she wants me to do.
Haiz. I don't know.
For this time, the anger is short-lived. (cause bter's sms came?)
No point 'gettting angry over the person's mistake'
Did some self reflection... will learn from it... must not put myself down right, jieming?
Haha.
If she ever want me to tell her everything like the way I do to my maid.
I really wonder how is she going to take it...
I seriously think that she need to do some self reflection too... for everything that happened is not just other's fault.. she plays a part as well...
Too bad. I'm just not a hypocrite like her.. I can't be one. And I won't be one.
Ha. So fun. Quarrel yet still can be so happy...
'Only when we're sad, we can be happy'?
I guess everything must have a contrast in order for us to relaise the significance. :)
__________________________________________________________________
** Replies **
SOPHINA, hmmm... i miss you too... what a long weekend... so many things happened as well. Hope yours had been filled with fortunate events though.
AWJIEMING, if I'm not wrong... the time you tagged me, we just stopped sms-ing each other.. and i thought you were supposed to be studying? =P Oh wells. Happy that you LOOK PROFOUND? In that case still want to change your image? Ya... no tau hua and no waffles for you... nvm la.. Can lose weight!! Shouldn't you be happy?? Choc waffles is fattening you know?
+nanabanana+, hahaha... I seem to know so many people who are related to banana!! So many people like bananas... hahaha...
___________________________________________________________________
You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song
s e n s e d @ 12:44 PM
Sunday, May 22, 2005
++Replies++
Siew Ting, you don't know what is ham ham??? How can??? Ham Ham is hamster!!! Never watch hamtaro? Hahaha... Eeee... why you never invite me your wedding?? Anyway... hope you don't be offended. Patrick is not handsome... ;(
malita, haha.. what a joke that day right? see you soooo many times.. haha. you even counted!! Hey leave me your link next time you drop by. Can't seem to find your url. ;)
AWJIEMING, haha... of course you'll see your name in my blog. You don't know you're important meh? Haha... ya la.. I know you're very nice. I'm so super grateful!! Thanks thanks!! You sure did brighten my day. ^_^
_________________________________________________________________
I really don't know what's the problem with her. Scolded me for nothing again.. just beacause she's jealous that I'm friendly to the maid and not so much to her. Whatever.. Say what wished that she never knew me. Like I want to know her like that... Argh!!! Freak!!!!
Sad. No tuition for one week. Got to come home early... No beancurd jelly. Haiz.
Suppose to be a happy day. Big walk was fun. The short shopping trip was... the discovery of a riip curl shop at PS was exciting.. but they all seem to be in the past.. so far away...
s e n s e d @ 7:37 PM
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Seems like everybody is longing to go home...
But where exactly is home?
A place where you can rest after going through all the tiredness?
A place where there's no return...
Somewhere that's not easily reached as well...
I should have expected that she'll not take it easy.. but little did i expect her to have such actions.
Disappointments?
I don't think I have a right to be disappointed in her.
I should be utterly ashamed and disappointed with myself instead.
Why can't she just give me more time.
I have already been trying to motivate myself...
But all my hopes are now dashed.
Poison my mind?
No one has.
Even if there is, it's I myself.
No doubt that I'm prejudiced against her... but not when it comes to her concern about my studies.
What does she gain from hurting me in my studies?
She's really dumb to think that way.
Sad I may have been... but there's always that few of you who never fail to brighten my dark life...
bter's encouraging words...
[I hope you do the same to yourself too.. it's really sad to see you depressed. Not everything in life is a lie. At least I can be sure that my friendship to you is true and genuine. Smile from the bottom of your heart and not to hide anything.I'm sure one day you'll be free as the wind. Well, at least you're the wind of my life.]
jieming's crap...
[I have no idea if you're really crappy or what... and I don't know why I bother to crap with you. But thanks a lot! It really makes me happier... and you've been successful with your religion.. at least it is in my case. =P]
val's trust
[I really wish that you could be happier...it's really sad to see you in that state that you are in everyday...]
sop's everything...
[you are such a darling do you know that? everything about you is so wonderful... your cheerful laughter really sounds like those of Very happy children...]
I wish that the world could be a happier place for all of us... it's really sad to learn that everyone around me are depressed. But for a fact is the I LOVE ALL OF YOU.
s e n s e d @ 12:21 PM
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
siewting, haha... nvm la. Call me whatever you want. Don't care the others. They know then know lor~ haha... ^_^ I actually got something to tell you... On second thoughts tourism management is not really my cup of tea after finding out more about it. Sorry. But I've not given up the idea of going to Poly. We can still go to the same one!
jieming, today not painful?? Never Awww~ argh? Hahaa... ok lah... Mid Year is Important... to some extent. Important as it's suppose to wake us up? Yup. To me, that's the importance. Anyway... remember our aim? Haha. Must work hard!! Stop praising yourself even if it's a 'fact'.
val, no worries. I've been very positive lately... encouraging myself everyday!! So much that you won't believe it. I'll PRESS ON!!! You cheer up ya.. We seem to have exchanged some of our character... cannot like that!
NXY, heex. you so shiok hor.. actually being called is not a bad thing. It ensures that I learn something.. make my tuition fee more worth it... haha... become like private tuition like that... right jieming? haha.. hope to see you at tuition.. err.. haven't exchanged number after knowing each other for so long!! haha.
s e n s e d @ 7:21 PM
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Replies
~~~~~~
squirrel : Yup, i'm getting back results... hmm... don't cry! Cause I've decided not to... as a promise to a friend. At least I'll try not to cry... no worries as long as you've done your best!
+nanabanana+ : hmmm... may I know who are you? I don't remember 'dao'-ing anyone in school... at least not to my friends!
bter: sweet sweet bter! I'll try to cheer up... You too ya? Remember our promise!!! Smilez! ^-^
s e n s e d @ 10:03 AM
Results that I've gotten back were not really up to standard.
Disappointing yet there's no feelings.
Numb.
I guess everyone's like that.
Too used to it already.
Can't blame us, right?
Indeed Monday is a dreadful day...
I hope I won't cry.
I'll try not to for bter's sake. It's a promise!
To think of it. Crying doesn't help at all..
Will just try harder the next time round.
For the full dress rehearsal
and everything will be perfect for the Show-down!
Right Shuen Lin?
Oh wells. Flag selling today...
Hope the weather will be fine. At least the rain has stopped.
Finally a visit to Orchard after such a long while!
I've realized lately that actually there are many people out there who cares for me.
Thank You!!
It's really very heart-warming to know that...
No doubt it's kinda empty inside. But at least I know that there are you all to turn to whenever I have a need to. Esp the one who has to stay up 24h to do art. Haha.. right? =P
Heex. GTG. Take Care everybody!!
Mid-year is not as important.
Strive harder.
Everything will be okay...
I wish all of you well.
s e n s e d @ 9:56 AM
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Worried about tomorrow...
Especially Monday. Haiz.
Guess I'm gonna cry like the waterfall?
s e n s e d @ 10:47 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
You were never there when I needed you.
You will never be there when I need you emotionally.
When I'm down,
When I'm sick.
But who can we blame? No one-
But fate.
I thought deep into it.
I realized that there will always be an gap between us.
An emptiness.
A space that can never be bridged.
That hole that was created through all these years will never be mended.
Sometimes I really wished that things didn't turn out this way.
Cause I really need you at times.
And it's only right that you see me through all the stages of my life.
Especially my teenage years.
To nurture me.
To impart knowledge of the world to me.
But it's impossible...
Mum. I really wished that things have been different.
s e n s e d @ 12:52 PM
Seems like some people have mistaken the Him as my ex. (eg: Jwen)
Haha... but here is yet another disclaimer.
That Him is actually late father. Yup.
s e n s e d @ 12:49 PM
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Manx. There so much to study for Lit~!
Oh no~
How to memorise so many things in a day?
Kinda regret for slacking. Can't help it anyway.
Need to go tuition. Need to go temple.
Talking about temple.
Feeling guilty. Wasn't really concentrating.
Easily distracted.
This really tells me that I'm losing the discipline that I have.
Really need to get the discipline back.
Anyway. Really need to go study extra hard already.
Oh ya.
Siew Ting. I'm so glad to have found a friend like you.
So excited about our future!!
Excited about tomorrow as well. =P
Didn't meet my mummy today... Felt so bad...
I hope she doesn't mind...
Thinking of you again. Pourquoi?
s e n s e d @ 8:13 PM
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Sad Girl
How I love this song : Don't Cry Joni by Conway Twitty.
So super sweet... and yet sad.
Haiz.
Posted this pic of the girl also cause she seem so sad.. resembles the girl that I imagined to be Joni of the song.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woman- Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up someday you'll see Saving all my kisses just for you
Signed with love forever true
Man - Joni was the girl who lived next door
I've known her I guess 10 years or more
Joni wrote me a note one day
And this is what she had to say
Woman-Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up someday you'll see
Saving all my kisses just for you
Signed with loveforever true
Man- Slowly I read her note once more
Then I went over to the house next door
Her tear drops fell like rain that day
When I told Joni what I had to say
Man- Joni, Joni please don't cry
You'll forget me by and by
You're just fifteenI'm twenty two
And Joni I just cant wait for you
Man - Soon I left our little home town
Got me a job and tried to settle down
But these words kept haunting my memory
The words that Joni said to me
Woman- Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up some day you'll see
Saving all my kisses just for you
Signed with love forever true
Man - I packed my clothes
And I caught a plane
I had to see Joni
I had to explain
How my heart was filled
With her memory
And ask my Joni if she'd marry me
I ran all the way
To the house next door
But things weren't like they were before
My tear drops fell like rain that day
When I heard what Joni had to say
Woman- Jimmy, Jimmy please don't cry
You'll forget me by and by
It's been five years since you've been gone
Jimmy I married your best friend John
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
s e n s e d @ 4:59 PM
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Melty Kiss
s e n s e d @ 4:24 PM
I see that long path again...
It's another long walk 'home' alone.
But I smell a different scent in the air -the rain.
But I see a different view- the view of the usual sight in the rain.
Everything seemed more beautiful and even the air smell sweet.
Everything seemed to be a dream, a fantasy.
So mild, so soft, so unrealistic...
Soothing.
The wind so gentle and soft.
The rain so fine and comforting against my cheek.
But they seem to be carassing me,
But they will never know how much I miss you...
Just like you'll never know how much I miss you.
Down to 5 more subjects to go.
A Math is a killer.
I don't know what I was doing for SS as well.
Super calm today.
Cheers for me! for being able to keep my cool!!
Oh wells.
Way to go!
M.L's remedial here I come!
Time to go do some more light revision. Chemistry!
Sop, 'I'm so in love with you!'
Shuen, you're stealing my heart away...
s e n s e d @ 3:47 PM
Sunday, May 01, 2005
I know Andy never reads my blog. It's ok I'll still say what I want to.
My dear Di Di.
It's ok.
When she's gone it doesn't mean no one loves you anymore.
She just isn't the one.
It's still too early to tell.
Who woundn't want you when you're so handsome?
It's true. You are good looking. Trust me.
There'll sure to be someone for you in life.
Just not now.
Whatever it is.
If nobody will love you.
I'll be that nobody.
Looking forward to your calls.
As for You.
That person who can't help saying that you're too attractive and cute and lovable.
Don't worry.
Nothing will happen.
You must be strong.
Look at the scars in another way.
They artists will deem them as beautiful and artistic.
Be the artist of your life.
Don't dwell on the past.
Learn from it and move on.
As long as you don't make the same old mistake again.
I'm sure you're better at telling yourself great philosophies than me.
Jia You.
But anyway how. I still enjoy spending time with you. ^_^
s e n s e d @ 8:43 PM
Lonely Rose 
s e n s e d @ 6:34 PM
I'm surrounded by nothing but the possibilities that someone in my family will just die anytime.
Die the way He did.
You remind me of Him not only because you both share the same Horoscope. 2 Days apart in birth dates but also in characters...
I'm no longer thinking of You like the way I used to anymore...
s e n s e d @ 4:52 PM
