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Saturday, July 08, 2006

I was feeling so heated a few moment ago.
Partly due to the weather and also those words that came out of her mouth
Those words that carried fire and oil with them...

Confronted me for the reason why I have been so unhappy with her.
Isn't the answer obvious?
I lied.
I lied that I wasn't feeling well...
It's partly true that I wasn't feeling well.

She thought the it was just the part that she scolded me to hurry up at the bus stop.
But she was so wrong.
It was before that.
The moment that she scolded me for not informing her that I was sending Lolita to Novena,
I was already provoked.

Throughout the week that had passed...
She had just add on to the unhappiness that I have towards her.
Complained that I scanned the thing too big a size.. physical size.
When all I've done is the usual thing!
Irritating.
Said that she told me so,
so that the next time round when I have to scan something for her again,
I won't scan it so large.
WTH.

And the other occasion that she told me not to be out so long when I asked for permission to go out on Sunday to see CosFest.
And what was her reason?
Exam is coming.
See.
She never fails and stop to pressure me. Stress is all she brings into my life.
It seems as though I don't know my own work well... as though I don't know my limits.

Something that she said was so true.

I know that you hate me a lot.

What a strong word she used.
Hate.
But since it came out of her mouth?
Why not agree?
She hurt herself.
I didn't do it.
Something which I felt not so true...

I'm the only one in this family that loves you the most.

Ha.
What a joke.

I was so pissed that I had the thought of not going on Sunday.
But I thought about it...
Why should I be so stupid to face her the entire day?
Why not go out and be freed from this cage?

I long to be free...
To be out of bound.

s e n s e d @ 11:52 AM