I wonder if I had sulked the entire day... I didn't even want to have dinner. But had no choice since we were having some sort of gathering. Was the last to join in.
Felt uneasy at the table that I was made to join. Being the last leaves no choice. No freedom. My cousins were talking... I forgot what about. Oh.. about Imperial College (UK) It seems as though I don't belong in the same category. I felt like a lower class. All I did was to keep quiet anyway.
But my female cousin was nice enough to ask me what I am studying now. Ha. And their response? Biomedical Science... Wow, such a long name... can't even spell the name. Haha... funny. That cousin of mine must have been too involved in his Chemical Engineering World and the Accounting and Shares world for the other.
That Chemical Engineer cousin of mine was funny enough to ask me if I have a boyfriend. Ha. Ha. Ha. Upon getting my reply, he said it's still early anyway.. haha. I suppose nobody will want me anyway.. Asked about my cca.. He said that OB is tough... He's opposite of me.. he dislikes camps... Because of mosquitoes. What a scout he must have been.
I hate it when she spoils my day right at the beginning of the day... I can't seem to bring myself to study at all. Argh. It's all her fault.
Somehow when I was doing some self reflections just now... I realized that as I grow older...I seem to have lost myself.I no longer know who I am...What I really want in life...I don't know who I am anymore.
It is no wonder how I seem to be happier now... Because I've lost myself... I don't know who I am... Lost...